GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics
THINK OF THE CHILDREN
Education Minister Erica Stanford has finally found support for her social media ban, after both National’s Coalition partners told her it was a dumb idea.
Stanford, convinced that Act and NZ First must just be stupid or something, turned to the newly spawned monstrosity Chris Luxkins, also known as MEGA CHRIS.
Luxkins formed after prime minister Christopher Luxon and Labour leader Chris Hipkins decided that their politics were so indistinguishable, they may as well fuse bodies and souls to become a frightening humpty-dumpty-like entity.
Luxkins says the ban on social media for under 16s will keep kids safe and will be a great way to ban VPNs and keep New Zealanders in line by issuing them all a digital ID.
“Chris keep kids safe. Erica smart. Puny New Zealanders too stupid for social media,” grunted Mega Chris outside parliament today.
Stanford meanwhile believes banning social media for under 16s has wide support, although she still hasn’t said how she intends to make every single New Zealander prove that they’re over 16 just so they can use a major part of the internet.
“It’s technical and we’re still working out all the details,” she said confidently, knowing full well that the establishment is losing control of the narrative and something drastic needed to be done.
“It’s really technical, don’t worry about it,” she laughed.
More to come.
