ALEX HICKEY | Culture
FLASH GUY
A self proclaimed “average bloke” is reevaluating what he’s up to after realising he actually does like capers after all.
Whanganui carpenter Tom Jacobs, 28, has always thought of himself as a man of the people. He considers himself low maintenance and easy going.
“I’m just your standard kiwi,” he says humbly.
Jacobs says that’s now all changed with one tasty bite of a salmon and cream cheese bagel at his local cafe.
“When I ordered, I forgot to tell them to leave the capers off. I always get the same thing and I dunno, this time I just didn’t think of it. I was kinda hopeful they’d know that’s how I like it, but I guess not.”
The dish came as per the menu, with capers sprinkled on top. Feeling adventurous, Jacobs tried a bite and was shocked to find he rather enjoyed it.
“I’ve always been told that anything with capers is better without capers,” he says. “I dunno, they just seem real boujee and not that good. Like, they’re for rich people or something – definitely not my kind of thing.
“But if I actually do like capers, then what does that mean? It’s like, have my taste buds gone up a level?”
The more he thought about the potential consequences, the more it forced him to look in the mirror.
“Do I need to start drinking craft beer now, or wine or some shit? We’re coming into summer – am I gonna have to start bringing lamb medallions to BBQs instead of double cheese sizzlers? I don’t even know what lamb medallions are. And what kinda dude does that?”
Jacobs admits he’s gone into his shell over the last few days, scared to eat much in case his fears are confirmed.
So far, he still enjoys a steak and cheese pie from his usual bakery, although he wonders if the flaky puff pastry isn’t as crispy as usual.
More to come.
Big fan of the Whakataki? Head over to the support page and become a Whakataki backer. You can also follow us on Insta.
