Mask-Wearers Passing By Parliament Mainly Trying To Block Out The Smell Of Poos And Wees
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | National DUAL-PURPOSE FACE MASKS After surveying 200 masked pedestrians on Molesworth Street on Monday, the Whakataki Times can report that 70% of respondents said their primary reason for their face covering was to stop the smell of human excrement at the anti-mandate drum and bass music festival. Of that 70%, the second […]
OPENING OLD WOUNDS: Rebecca Black Nervous That “Friday” Will Be Next On Trevor Mallard’s Playlist
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | National GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY Rebecca Black, singer of the ear-penetrating viral humiliator, Friday, is feeling as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. As Speaker of the House Trevor Mallard attempts to annoy anti-mandate protesters with a mix of Barry Manilow, Macarena and COVID-19 advertising, […]
