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Tag: parliament

Mask-Wearers Passing By Parliament Mainly Trying To Block Out The Smell Of Poos And Wees

couple walking past protests with masks on

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | National DUAL-PURPOSE FACE MASKS After surveying 200 masked pedestrians on Molesworth Street on Monday, the Whakataki Times can report that 70% of respondents said their primary reason for their face covering was to stop the smell of human excrement at the anti-mandate drum and bass music festival. Of that 70%, the second […]

OPENING OLD WOUNDS: Rebecca Black Nervous That “Friday” Will Be Next On Trevor Mallard’s Playlist

Rebecca Black Friday protests

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | National GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY Rebecca Black, singer of the ear-penetrating viral humiliator, Friday, is feeling as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.  As Speaker of the House Trevor Mallard attempts to annoy anti-mandate protesters with a mix of Barry Manilow, Macarena and COVID-19 advertising, […]

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire has a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news website, which means the stories are made up for comedic effect.