Wellingtonian’s Social Credit Score Through The Roof After Debuting New Book Purchase On Train
A DIFFERENT KIND OF POWER.
Local Man Colonises Matariki Into Yet Another Long Weekend Of Piss Drinking
GROSSLY PROBLEMATIC.
Public Holiday Still Getting Misgendered In 2025 As “Queen’s Birthday”
DO BETTER.
Public Servant Uses The Phrase “Living The Dream” As Shield Against Deep Feeling Of Dissatisfaction
ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE.
Public Service Team Meeting Off To A Flyer After Attendees Robotically Recite The Ministry Karakia
SETTING THE TONE.
“DO BETTER”: Still No Ukraine Or Palestine Lanyards For Wellington Public Servants
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Local THE RIGHT THING TO DO The overwhelming message coming from the Public Service Association today is “do better”, as it was revealed that there are currently no lanyards available to public servants to support Ukraine or Palestine. As it stands, government employees in Wellington are able to pledge allegiance to the […]
Parliamentary Service Lad Remains Tight-Lipped About Which MPs Are Dickheads In Real Life
NOT WHO YOU’D EXPECT.
25-year-old James* (who, for reasons of his own, only goes by “James”) works as an advisor in our nation’s parliament. James recently shared with friends that he’s spent the last two years accumulating top-secret intel on the MPs he works with.
Wellington Commuters Enjoying Reduced Congestion Due To Less Jobs To Get To
SILVER LININGS.
Times are tough and people are hurting, but some fortunate Wellingtonians are looking on the bright side this morning.
Local Teen Helps With Teacher Shortage By Wagging School
ANYTHING TO SUPPORT THE EDUCATORS.
One conscientious kid is today patting herself on the back, having alleviated Aotearoa’s teacher shortage by skipping school altogether.
Career-Minded Public Servant All Over The Optional Lunchtime Waiata Practice
KEY PERFORMANCE INDICATOR.
Lauren McDonald has made a splash in front of key senior managers today. The policy advisor at the Ministry of Education clearly has her eyes on the prize, being the first one to turn up to the optional lunch time waiata practice.
