Local Bloke Can’t Justify Spending $60 on Groceries, But Happily Spends $120 on Friday Night Piss-Up
BOY MATH.
Daniel McCafferty has once again demonstrated his world-class financial priorities.
The 31 year-old recently balked at a $60 grocery bill before promptly forking out double that amount on a Friday night session with the boys.
Confused Checkout Operator Spends Three Minutes Asking Luxon If He’d Like His Receipt Or Not
YES OR NO.
Chloe Jamieson, a 21 year old checkout operator at New World Botany, was left physically and emotionally drained this morning, after what should have been a very brief interaction with Prime Minister Christopher Luxon.
Woman Forced To Choose Between Subscriptions And Sustenance As Mum Cancels Netflix
TO EAT, OR BINGE?
Amanda Peacock’s stomach is grumbling this evening after she decided that another episode of ‘Missing You’ was worth missing a meal.
44-Year-Old Lawyer Finding It Quite Difficult To Get Away With Shoplifting These Days
CAN’T CATCH A BREAK.
A middle-aged Aucklander who happens to be a qualified lawyer has been having a run of bad luck lately.
Pak n Save Shopper Uses Shopping Basket Instead Of Own Bag So She Doesn’t Look Like She’s Stealing
KEEPING UP APPEARANCES.
A 40 year old woman from central Auckland turned heads today, as she opted for a shopping basket to carry her groceries as she selected them at Royal Oak Pak n Save.
“Pak n Save Keeps Prices Low But You Still Have To Pay Them!” Says Stickman To Golriz
EXTRA LOW DEALS.
Stickman, the national spokesman for Pak n Save, has said “enough is enough” after news broke that non-MP Golriz Ghahraman is now being investigated for shoplifting at their Royal Oak supermarket.
Local Woman Forgets Reusable Shopping Bags Again, Adds Another Tier To The Pile In The Garage
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Local NOT HER DAY. Whakataki local Olivia Bancroft should be approached with caution this morning. “Oh every fuckin time! I’m sick of this shit!” screeched the 43 year-old as the supermarket doors nearly slid on her. Her sudden outburst caught the ears of the Whakataki Times reporters, who kept their distance while […]
