DO BETTER: Vatican Once Again Fails To Elect A Pope From New Zealand
GET WITH THE TIMES
Wellington Shoppers Rewarded With Gift Vouchers For Setting Foot In Johnsonville Mall
CONSUMER SACRIFICE.
Wellington Communion Service Swaps Red Wine For Limited Run Hazy IPA
And God said, Let there be light, citrus and refreshing IPA.
Wellington City Council Reveals Plans For Much-Needed Second Bucket Fountain
FINALLY!
After years of Wellingtonians complaining about failing infrastructure in the CBD, Wellington City Council has at last listened to ratepayers.
REPORT: Auckland Better Than Wellington Not Just In Football But In General
ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY.
The age-old debate over which city reigns supreme was once again put to bed on Saturday night, as Auckland FC ruthlessly dismantled the Wellington Phoenix 6-1 at Go Media Stadium.
Wellington Commuters Enjoying Reduced Congestion Due To Less Jobs To Get To
SILVER LININGS.
Times are tough and people are hurting, but some fortunate Wellingtonians are looking on the bright side this morning.
Wellingtonian Doesn’t Notice How Shit Summer’s Been Because For Him It Always Is
EVERYDAY’S A PUFFER JACKET DAY.
For most Kiwis, the summer of 2025 has been a washout.
Reports of torrential rain, howling winds, and barely a sliver of sunshine have dominated national headlines in New Zealand, with Cantabrians especially vocal about their disappointment.
Wellingtonian Shares His Spotify Wrapped Which Is Filled With Artists You’ve Never Heard Of
MAKING A POINT.
Alex Devlin, 27 from Wellington, took to social media today to proudly share his Spotify Wrapped results, which showcased a meticulously curated lineup of artists no one else seems to know.
Women Of Wellington Devastated To Find Out David Seymour Is Off The Market
HEARTBREAK KID.
The progressive-minded women of Wellington were blindsided this morning with the news that ACT party leader David Seymour has had a secret girlfriend for the last two years.
REINVIGORATING THE CAPITAL: Wellington Mayor Secretly Hoped Hikoi Would Turn Into Three Week Stay
ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY GUTTED.
Wellington Mayor Tory Whanau is reportedly heartbroken after the hikoi that swept through the capital this week wrapped up in a single day.
