GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture
EARTHY TONES
A Christchurch man has confirmed he is now a “long black drinker” as part of what he describes as a subtle but deliberate personal rebrand.
Tom Harris, 31, said the shift away from flat whites marks a new chapter.
“It’s just cleaner,” Harris explained. “More direct and more functional, with no empty calories.”
Harris confirmed he updated his mental profile immediately.
“You don’t order a long black unless you know what you’re about.”
The local man said the move aligns with other recent adjustments, including neutral clothing and reading non fiction on public transport, labelling it “more intentional”.
Barista Ella Ng said she has noticed a pattern.
“Men hit 30 and suddenly they’re done with milk,” Ng said. “Happens all the time.”
Harris rejected suggestions that the change is cosmetic. “It’s about taste,” he insisted. “You appreciate the bean more.”
Friends report he now pauses slightly before ordering, “like he’s stepping into character.”
Harris was last seen looking around expectantly to see who else in the coffee shop had heard him say “that’s mine thanks” in response to the barista’s “Long black?” announcement.
More to come.
