Biden Shocked To Find Out That He’s Pulled Out Of The Presidential Election
WHA? COME ON, MAN!
President Joe Biden got a hell of a fright when he woke up from his nap this afternoon.
Ken The Cockroach Feeling Vindicated After Y2K Bug Finally Hits
TOLD YOU!
Ken the cockroach, the face of the Y2K bug campaign in New Zealand in the 90s, is feeling good today.
Kiwi Bloke Establishes His Nescafe Station Ahead Of Dangerously Late Origin Kick Off
SOMEBODY THINK OF THE KIWIS.
Queensland supporter Mark Hickey, 33, is sitting down with his second cup of coffee tonight, preparing for the State of Origin decider at Suncorp Stadium. The game is scheduled to kick off at 10:05 PM NZT, though seasoned viewers like Mark know that 10:15 PM if not much later is a more realistic start time.
Trump Attends Party Convention Looking Like He’s Been Packing Down Scrums All Day
BIG SHIFT UP FRONT.
Donald Trump made a dramatic entrance at the Republican National Convention today, sporting a bandage on his ear that you would more often see on a hardworking front row forward than a presidential candidate.
MAXIMUM CRINGE: New Zealand Distancing Itself From TVNZ Breakfast After Trump Doll Video Resurfaces
WOW..
Following the recent assassination attempt on former president Donald Trump, a 2023 video from TVNZ Breakfast has resurfaced, embarrassing the small country of five million.
Biden Somehow Still Seems To Be The Presidential Candidate Closest To Death
NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN.
Despite the assassination attempt on Donald Trump at a Republican rally in Pennsylvania earlier today, US President Joe Biden still appears to be the one more likely to die on any given day.
Biden Says It Was A Pleasure To Meet With John Key At NATO
“JOHN MY OLD FRIEND”
President Joe Biden has added another memorable gaffe to his repertoire, this time involving former NZ Prime Minister John Key.
Luxon Misses Out On Meeting With Biden Due To Clash With His Nap Time
TIGHT SCHEDULE.
New Zealand Prime Minister Christopher Luxon was all geared up to meet with the US President this week, as he travelled to Washington DC for the NATO summit.
Local Woman Not Fussed About New Shot Clock Display As Long As Her Damian Keeps Smiling
JUST SO CUTE!
New Zealand Rugby confirmed today that a shot clock for goal-kicking would be displayed clearly for players from now on, so goal-kickers will know exactly how long they have, without having to rely on signals from the referee.
Swarbrick Relieved Latest Greens Scandal Is About Someone Nobody’s Ever Heard Of
SILVER LININGS.
Greens co-leader Chloe Swarbrick is looking on the bright side today, as she announced another of her Green MPs has resigned.
