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man with beer thinking about lebron james and greyhounds.

GREYHOUND RACING BAN: Bloke Forced To Start Blowing His Chump Change On Random NBA Multis

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David Seymour in background with two hipster women consoling each other in foreground

Women Of Wellington Devastated To Find Out David Seymour Is Off The Market

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woman wearing crossfit hoodie with bubble of head hunters gang

Patch Ban Extended To Include Logos Of Expensive Cross Fit Gyms

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nz man standing in front of us election map

Kiwi Bloke Couldn’t Give A Fuck About The US Election

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tim naki in front of tvnz hq

LAST ROLL OF THE DICE: TVNZ Welcomes Tim Naki As Head Of Investments

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Golriz failing appeal

Golriz Dismayed To Find Out Her Theft Conviction Wasn’t A Big Misunderstanding

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tory whanau with tina from turners and chris luxon

Tory Whanau Calculating How Many Cars She Needs To Sell To Avoid Government Intervention

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golriz in court with security footage

Proven Thief And Liar Still Believes She Could Get A Job As A Lawyer

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navy captain thinking about gps with sinking ship in the background

Navy Agrees That Investing In Affordable GPS May Have Saved Them A Hundred Million Dollars

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woman in front of tui billboard

Tui Devastated That Local Woman Who’s Never Drunk Beer Doesn’t Like Their Ad

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.