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Scott Robertson with schick razor

Schick Announces Limited Edition “Razor Robertson” Quattro

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maths teacher with roulette table

Maths Teacher Heads To Casino After Calculating The Probability Of A Meaningful Pay Rise

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female teacher with ipad

Teacher Annoys Students By Trying To Sell Them Her Old iPad For Extra Cash

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teen next to ram raided post office dairy

Teen Ram Raiders At Least Getting Out Of The House And Off Their Phones

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intellectual at Oxford University with oxford english dictionary

Oxford Dictionary Gives Up Trying To Define New Zealand Phrase “Yeah Nah”

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hipster woman in front of floods.

Activist Harping On About Carbon Emissions During Cyclone Devastation Is Widely Told To Fuck Off

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lady who does not want her cyclone gabrielle nickname

Gabby From Accounts Naturally Acquires “Cyclone Gabrielle” Nickname

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newshub weather reporters in weather

Weather Reporter Outrageously Requests Permission To Do Live Cross From Indoors

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arrogant man standing in Wellington with metservice warning map behind him.

CYCLONE WARNING: Arrogant Wellingtonian Welcomes The Challenge Of More Wind

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woman looking sheepish next to laptop and cocaine with floating shipment of cocaine in background next to navy ship

Losing A Company Laptop Definitely Not As Bad As Losing 3.2 Tonnes Of Cocaine

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire has a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news website, which means the stories are made up for comedic effect.