National Archives | The Whakataki Times

Scott Robertson with schick razor

Schick Announces Limited Edition “Razor Robertson” Quattro

maths teacher with roulette table

Maths Teacher Heads To Casino After Calculating The Probability Of A Meaningful Pay Rise

female teacher with ipad

Teacher Annoys Students By Trying To Sell Them Her Old iPad For Extra Cash

teen next to ram raided post office dairy

Teen Ram Raiders At Least Getting Out Of The House And Off Their Phones

intellectual at Oxford University with oxford english dictionary

Oxford Dictionary Gives Up Trying To Define New Zealand Phrase “Yeah Nah”

hipster woman in front of floods.

Activist Harping On About Carbon Emissions During Cyclone Devastation Is Widely Told To Fuck Off

lady who does not want her cyclone gabrielle nickname

Gabby From Accounts Naturally Acquires “Cyclone Gabrielle” Nickname

newshub weather reporters in weather

Weather Reporter Outrageously Requests Permission To Do Live Cross From Indoors

arrogant man standing in Wellington with metservice warning map behind him.

CYCLONE WARNING: Arrogant Wellingtonian Welcomes The Challenge Of More Wind

woman looking sheepish next to laptop and cocaine with floating shipment of cocaine in background next to navy ship

Losing A Company Laptop Definitely Not As Bad As Losing 3.2 Tonnes Of Cocaine

DISCLAIMER: NZ satire has a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news website, which means the stories are made up for comedic effect.