New Zealand Determined To Start Incredibly Average Version Of Jurassic Park
MOA MADNESS.
Aucklander Fraudulently Claims He’s “Not Like Other Aucklanders”
‘BACK IN AUCKLAND’
NOBODY HOME: Leigh Hart’s One Chip For Every Kiwi Hits Snag at Johnsonville Mall
DEAD END
“Middle Of The North Island” Easier Than Explaining Where The Hell Te Kūiti Is
TINY TOWN TROUBLES.
Bloke Still Bringing Up High School Sporting Career At Every Party Like It’s Relevant
FADED FAME.
Uni Student Getting Straight A’s Despite Sub-Optimal Diet Of Mostly Two Minute Noodles
NOODLE KNOWLEDGE.
South Island Bloke Still Pretending It’s Not Cold Wearing Gumboots And Stubbies
SUB ZERO SWAG
Kiwi Bloke’s “Big OE” To Include Same Mates From Home But In Different Time Zone
MINIMAL SHIFT.
Local Man Plating Up His Gourmet Nachos Already Eaten Half The Corn Chips
LED TO TEMPTATION
“I’m My Own Man Now”: Local Bloke Enjoys Free To Air Cricket Without Tapping Into Parents’ SkyGo Account
INDEPENDENCE DAY.
33-year-old Matt Johnson has again found himself in a state of pure elation as he realised he wouldn’t have to beg, borrow, or steal access to his parents’ SkyGo account to watch the Blackcaps tonight.
