Car-Selling Expert Tory Whanau Rumoured To Replace Tina From Turners
TORY FROM TURNERS.
Instead of copping more flak over her recent media missteps, Wellington Mayor Tory Whanau has had some surprisingly good news – she’s reportedly in the running to replace Tina from Turners, New Zealand’s beloved spokesperson for Turners Car Auctions.
STRUGGLING ON $189K: Wellington Mayor Tory Whanau Regretting Her Attempt To Appear Relatable
IT’S ROUGH OUT THERE.
Tory Whanau gave her comms team an absolute bollocking today.
It appears that the key messages they supplied her ahead of a Newstalk ZB interview failed to tell her not to say she’s doing it tough on $189,000 a year.
CONFIRMED: Working From Home More Pleasant Than Travelling Into Wellington
NO WAY!
A new report released by the Wellington Public Servants Association Of Wellington (WPSAW), has confirmed what many have feared.
Beervana Activates Hordes Of Men Confidently Swaggering Through Central Wellington
MUST BE SOMETHING ON.
The citizens of Wellington could tell that something was up yesterday, after multiple sightings of confident-looking men walking in groups were reported to authorities.
Passing Mention Of Rugby Sevens Sends Woman Back To Being Drunk In Wellington Wearing A Toga
GLORY DAYS.
For Tara Peattie, the mere mention of the women’s rugby sevens team clinching gold against Canada at the Paris Olympics was enough to send her spiralling into a haze of nostalgia.
Man Describes Flavours He’s Detecting In Craft Beer Whether Friends Want To Hear It Or Not
OOH THAT’S HOPPY.
35 year old Hayden Carson put his friends through the ringer yesterday afternoon, when he inevitably got onto his favourite topic of discussion – craft beer.
Tinder Swindler Brought In To Persuade Protesters To Leave Parliament Grounds
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | National GETTING THE JOB DONE! The New Zealand Government and Police have hired well known con man Simon Leveiv, also known as the ‘Tinder Swindler’, in an attempt to convince protesters to exit Parliament grounds as the protest nears its third week. Leveiv has been the subject of Netflix’s latest documentary ‘The […]
Shoeboxes Now Out Of Reach For Wellington Flat Hunters
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | National There’s more disappointment for Wellington flat hunters as the average rental price of a shoebox continues to rise. This comes as median house prices top $1m in the capital city. Seventy five people turned up to the latest viewing, a shoebox formerly home to a pair of Hush Puppies leather sandals […]
Wellington Man Pretends To Enjoy The Taste Of Very High Percentage Craft Beer
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | National Ryan Anderson put on the acting performance of his life on Sunday. The stage was set when the 31 year old freelance designer met friends for drinks at a painfully trendy bar in the Wellington suburb of Newtown. Anderson’s friend Jamie was ordering at the bar and asked him what he […]
Local Genius Fires Off “Can’t Beat Wellington On A Good Day” Social Media Post
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | National “Ha geez, better check how many likes it has now.” Even the galeforce winds would struggle to wipe the smile off Angus Williams’ face this morning. The 28 year-old inner-city public servant had only minutes ago posted a photo of Oriental Parade captioned ‘Can’t beat Wellington on a good day’ on […]
