Man Leans In To Sunday Hangover By Extending It To Monday

man asleep on couch with maccas and sport on tv

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture

JUST EMBRACE IT

Sam Westman, a recruitment advisor at a top agency in Hamilton, has taken a novel approach to his semi-frequent Sunday hangover. 

The 24 year old is by no means drinking as much as he was in his uni days, however he does still find himself dangerously hungover on a Sunday at least once a month. 

Yesterday however, was one of those magical hangovers where the key members of Westman’s drinking team were still together on Sunday for the aftermath. Naturally there was much reminiscing, greasy takeaway food, and lazy observance of Sky Sport highlights, while slipping in and out of consciousness. 

“Just one of the great Sundays with the lads ay. Maccas, rugby highlights, yarns. Really hard to beat that.”

When he returned home the young man was suddenly hit with the hideous realisation that tomorrow was Monday, and he would be expected to get dressed and contribute to society. 

This simply wouldn’t do. 

Westman told himself right there and then that he would be calling in sick tomorrow. He refused to let this beautiful hangover come to an end. 

“I just had to make a choice, ay. This is about my wellbeing,” he lied to our reporters, and himself. 

Knowing that splashing his face with cold water on Monday morning and knocking back a few ibuprofen wasn’t going to rid himself of his horrors, Westman put on his best sick-sounding voice and phoned it in to his boss. 

“They’ll thank me in the long run. My productivity for the week will be net positive with an extra recovery day”. 

Early reports are that the Monday absentee was getting stuck into the TV series “Yellowstone”, while on his second free trial of Neon. 

More to come.

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