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Luxon Advises People Struggling With Bills To Just Sell Off One Of Their Rentals

Luxon in front of property for sale

BILL BUSTER.

Man Attempts To Outrun Hangover With Multiple Trips To Shop To Buy Convenient Ready-To-Eat Food

otago man running with nachos

RECOVERY MISSION.

Round One Win For Warriors Triggers Avalanche Of “Our Year” Social Media Posts

warriors with warriors tweet

PREMIERSHIP CONFIRMED.

Luxon Questions Whether Latest Poll Results Were Generated By ChatGPT

luxon with chatgpt and poll results

POLL PROMPTING.

Leigh Hart Snubbed For All Blacks Coaching Role Due To So-Called “Lack Of Experience”

Leigh Hart imagining himself as ABs coach.

SPEED RUCKING

Old Boy At Pub Waiting On NZ Rugby To Seek His Final Approval On All Blacks Coach

old boy at pub with beer thinking about all blacks coaches

FINAL CLEARANCE

Local Man Adds “Long Black Drinker” To His Edgy But Highly Curated Personality

man with coffee

EARTHY TONES.

Grandmother Looking After Grandkids Informed That She “Can’t Even Feed Bread To Ducks Anymore”

Grandmother and grandkids at duck pond.

TOTAL QUACKDOWN

WIRED AWAKE: Health Guru Who Preaches 8 Hours Sleep Each Night Now On Fourth Line At Electric Ave

woman at festival

SWEET DREAMS.

Bloke Refers To Mount Maunganui As “The Mount” Despite Living In Gore

bloke in gore thinking about the mount

COASTAL CLAIM.

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.