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Bloke’s Heart Sinks As Countdown Cashier Casually Waves Him Through Without ID Or Eye Contact

man buying beers at checkout

REALITY CHECK.

Government Struggling To Explain What’s Inconvenient About Having A Wallet With A Licence In It

Judith Collins with her new govt app

SOLUTION WITHOUT A PROBLEM

Swarbrick Relieved It Wasn’t One Of Her MPs Doxxing Winston Or Smashing His Windows

chloe swarbrick with winston in front of smashed window

CLOSE CALL.

Hapless Boyfriend Of Instagram Gets Wheeled Out For Cherry Blossom Photoshoot

man with camera and woman posing in cherry blossom garden behind

CHERRY PICKED CONTENT.

DEVASTATING: Wellness Influencer On Sunday Run Doesn’t Spot Any Walks Of Shame She Can Judge

woman running and disappointed thinking about someone's walk of shame

NO INFLUENCE.

NRL GRAND FINAL: New Zealander With Zero Ties To Melbourne Suddenly Becomes Lifelong Storm Fan

storm fan

BANDWAGON.

Bloke In His 30s Who’s Feeling Old Callously Reminded Ma’a Nonu Is Playing Top Level Rugby At 43

man looking deflated as he watches maa nonu

LIKE FINE WINE.

“I’m My Own Man Now”: Local Bloke Enjoys Free To Air Cricket Without Tapping Into Parents’ SkyGo Account

man watching cricket on couch.

INDEPENDENCE DAY.

Luxon’s PR Team Making AI Version Of Him That Seems More Human

virtual luxon

RELATABILITY REBOOT.

Old Boy At The Pub Adds Cam Roigard To His Good Books But Not Razor

man drinking and thinking about roigard and razor

HERE WE GO.

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.