Man Spends $2k On Fishing Rods And Gets Nothing But Sunburn And Fish And Chips

DROUGHT ON THE OCEAN.
Man Suddenly Remembers Beer In Freezer Moments After Mysterious Kitchen Explosion

SAID HE WOULDN’T FORGET.
Flexible Working Officially Blamed For The Death Of Friday Office Drinks

GUILTY AS CHARGED.
Te Pāti Māori On The Lookout For New Ways To Destroy Pieces Of Paper They Don’t Like

INNOVATORS.
Hard-Nosed Wellingtonian Describes This Week’s Weather As “Quite Windy Ay”

CAN’T BEAT IT ON A GOOD DAY THOUGH.
Bloke’s Hangover Now Creeping Into Tuesday

SEEN BETTER DAYS.
JUST FOR FUN: Bloke Doing Anonymous Staff Engagement Survey Selects “Strongly Disagree” For Every Question

CLICKING WITH PURPOSE.
Attention-Starved Chris Hipkins Planning Labour’s First Parliament Haka

DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING.
Swarbrick And The Greens In Need Of New Team Kit Now That There’s Peace In The Middle East

WARDROBE WOES.
Job Seeker Shocked To Learn Entry-Level Role Requires 10 Years Experience In Entry-Level Roles

GRAD TRAP.