Bloke’s Heart Sinks As Countdown Cashier Casually Waves Him Through Without ID Or Eye Contact

REALITY CHECK.
Government Struggling To Explain What’s Inconvenient About Having A Wallet With A Licence In It

SOLUTION WITHOUT A PROBLEM
Swarbrick Relieved It Wasn’t One Of Her MPs Doxxing Winston Or Smashing His Windows

CLOSE CALL.
Hapless Boyfriend Of Instagram Gets Wheeled Out For Cherry Blossom Photoshoot

CHERRY PICKED CONTENT.
DEVASTATING: Wellness Influencer On Sunday Run Doesn’t Spot Any Walks Of Shame She Can Judge

NO INFLUENCE.
NRL GRAND FINAL: New Zealander With Zero Ties To Melbourne Suddenly Becomes Lifelong Storm Fan

BANDWAGON.
Bloke In His 30s Who’s Feeling Old Callously Reminded Ma’a Nonu Is Playing Top Level Rugby At 43

LIKE FINE WINE.
“I’m My Own Man Now”: Local Bloke Enjoys Free To Air Cricket Without Tapping Into Parents’ SkyGo Account

INDEPENDENCE DAY.
Luxon’s PR Team Making AI Version Of Him That Seems More Human

RELATABILITY REBOOT.
Old Boy At The Pub Adds Cam Roigard To His Good Books But Not Razor

HERE WE GO.