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Will Jordan Wishes He Could Be Cloned To Play Fullback And Wing, Just To Keep Everyone Happy

Will Jordan cloned

DOUBLE TROUBLE.

MORE THAN THE MOA: Peter Jackson Now Wants To Genetically Engineer Smaug The Dragon

Peter Jackson with Smaug the dragon and two moa

NEEDS MORE DRAGONS.

TMO Will Miss Tomorrow’s Test After Getting Stuck Reviewing All Blacks Try From 1905

Will Jordan scoring try and old fashioned projector with 1905 All Blacks

DECISION PENDING.

Golriz Relieved To Exit Restaurant Without Being Asked To Empty Handbag

Golriz at Atelier

GRACEFUL EJECTION.

Wellingtonian’s Social Credit Score Through The Roof After Debuting New Book Purchase On Train

woman reading Jacinda book on train.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF POWER.

New Zealand Determined To Start Incredibly Average Version Of Jurassic Park

Sam Neill thinking about moa in paddock.

MOA MADNESS.

Aucklander Fraudulently Claims He’s “Not Like Other Aucklanders”

Man in Auckland.

‘BACK IN AUCKLAND’

TMO Now Taking Another Look At Forward Pass From World Cup Quarterfinal in 2007

Wayne Barnes and 2007 all blacks

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER.

All Blacks Shocked By Loss After TMO Rules Out All Remaining Tries Overnight

Confused Beauden Barrett looks at losing score and will jordan scoring

TRY AGAIN.

Media Reveal “Prominent New Zealander” Is Male, Finally Ruling Out Suzy Cato

Suzy Cato with news snippets.

NOT HER TIME.

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.