Public Servant Introduces Personal Scoring System To Simulate Job Satisfaction

MAKING HIS OWN FUN.
Bloke Who Failed To Bring Beers To Party Now Taking Generous Helpings Of Everyone Else’s

EMPTY HANDED
Local Tradie Say He’ll “Swing By Tomorrow” Offering Inconvenient 10-Hour Arrival Window
WAITING WOES.
Bloke Who’s Never Left The West Coast Confident He’d Hate Auckland

ABSOLUTE CERTAINTY.
Grade Cricketer Reckons He Was ‘Seeing Them Well’ Before Getting Bowled for 2

SEEING IT LIKE A BEACH BALL
Public Servant Skim-Reads Email That Took Three Days To Write, Review And Sign Off

MAX EFFORT, MINIMAL IMPACT.
One Person Single-Handedly Responsible For 97% Of Group Chat Activity

OVERACTIVE.
All Blacks Can’t Even Completely Blame The Score On England’s Lame Boring Drop Goals

NARRATIVE RUINED.
Local Cop Quite Keen For His Bosses To Not Break The Law And Try To Disgracefully Cover It Up

GREAT EXPECTATIONS.
Balding Bloke Under Pressure To Shave It All Off Insists He’s “Nowhere Near Being Bald”

HOPE FADING.