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Shortland Street pic with headline about funding

Essential TV Programme That Everyone Watches Thankfully Saved By Taxpayers

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Man in lounge surrounded by tsunami.

Local Bloke Would Rather Be Hit By Tsunami Than Get Another Civil Defence Alert

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Peter Jackson with Smaug the dragon and two moa

MORE THAN THE MOA: Peter Jackson Now Wants To Genetically Engineer Smaug The Dragon

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Golriz at Atelier

Golriz Relieved To Exit Restaurant Without Being Asked To Empty Handbag

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woman reading Jacinda book on train.

Wellingtonian’s Social Credit Score Through The Roof After Debuting New Book Purchase On Train

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Sam Neill thinking about moa in paddock.

New Zealand Determined To Start Incredibly Average Version Of Jurassic Park

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Suzy Cato with news snippets.

Media Reveal “Prominent New Zealander” Is Male, Finally Ruling Out Suzy Cato

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man confidently smirking at phone on couch.

Local Bloke In The Group Chat Definitely Reckons He Knows Who The Prominent New Zealander Is

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Leigh Hart outside Johnsonville Mall with his snackachangi chips

NOBODY HOME: Leigh Hart’s One Chip For Every Kiwi Hits Snag at Johnsonville Mall

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man giving thumbs up in front of map

“Middle Of The North Island” Easier Than Explaining Where The Hell Te Kūiti Is

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.