GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics
WHO’S NEXT ON THE LIST?
Greens co-leader Chloe Swarbrick has been hit with the sudden realisation that the only reason Benjamin Doyle is in parliament in the first place is because two of her other MPs were forced to resign for breaking the law.
She spent this week trying to somehow defend Doyle’s deeply disturbed social media posts, basically saying that it’s just a rainbow thing, which has of course caused secondary outrage, this time at her.
“Oh hang on a minute,” she said to reporters this morning as she had a sudden moment of clarity.
“We lost two MPs in a single calendar year last year. First Golriz went, and she was replaced by Celia Wade Brown. And then Darleen went and she was replaced by old Bussy Boy.
“Far out it’s a shame that the New Zealand public doesn’t really tolerate MPs that commit crimes like shoplifting and migrant exploitation,” she laughed, not mentioning that they don’t really tolerate whatever the hell Doyle’s getting up to either.
It stands to reason that even if the Greens had only lost one MP this term, then they would just have Celia Wade Brown, who’s a harmless older lady who used to be the mayor of Wellington.
“Imagine that! We could’ve had Celia in parliament along with one of the criminals. Preferably Golriz. Could have avoided bringing Doyle in all together!
“You know when you shove someone that far down the list you never really think you’re actually going to end up having them in parliament. Just real bad luck about all the crime huh?” she said earnestly.
“Oh shit I better check who’s next on the list I guess…”
More to come.
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