Increase In Midweek Beers Inspires Auckland CEO To Strategically Give Up On December
LOST CAUSE.
The Chief Executive of a small Auckland insurance firm has made a controversial move late in 2023.
Robert Davies, CEO of Blue Tick Insurance, has noticed the uptick in his staff going for beers early in the afternoon, and has decided to let it be, even if sales end up being flat for the month.
“It’s a strategic decision that will pay off in the long run. The team has worked hard all year and the worst thing I could do for motivation right now would be to get on people’s cases about leaving early,” he said while enjoying a beer in the office himself.
EVOLUTIONARY SCIENCE: Warmth And Sunlight During Afternoon Stimulates Brain’s Biological Urge For A Beer
IT’S SCIENCE.
Local neurologist Jacko Callahan has proven what we all knew to be true – that a bit of sunshine in the afternoon is likely to make you want a beer.
This time however, there’s science to back up the theory.
Dr Callahan says that inside every human’s ‘reptile brain’ (also known as the amygdala) there are photoreceptors that are triggered by afternoon light.
“The angle and frequency of specifically afternoon light is something that makes our brains seek out a sense of fun and relaxation,” explained Dr Callahan as he quickly wiped away the beer he had spilled on his lab coat.
National Party Leader Stocks Up On Hellers Snags And Wakachangi Beer For Election BBQ
FUNNY THAT.
Christopher Luxon has made another bold decision as leader of the National Party, stocking up exclusively on Hellers sausages and Wakachangi beer ahead of his election day barbie.
Instead of opting for an assortment of gourmet dishes and fine wines, Luxon decided to go for something that resonates with everyday kiwi battlers.
“Gidday maaaate” Luxon greeted our reporters, stocking up his fridge for his election party on Saturday night, where he is hopeful of becoming Prime Minister.
SPRING TIME: Warmer Weather Leads To After-Work Beer Proposal Gathering Momentum
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture FULL STEAM AHEAD Kori Lee couldn’t hide his smile as the warm sun shone through his office window in Christchurch this afternoon. The 29-year-old, typically stuck in his cubicle, felt uplifted after his friend Ben responded to his earlier text suggesting a post-work beer with a simple “You keen?” ” Yeah […]
Local Piss Head Who Says “I’ll Be Fine If I Stick To The Beers” Definitely Won’t Be Fine
JUST A QUIET ONE.
In a classic case of misguided confidence, a man from Hastings is adamant that he will have a perfectly controlled night out at the Cru Bar by sticking to just beer and avoiding spirits.
Experts predict that this plan will inevitably backfire, resulting in a night of chaos and a painful hangover the next day.
Meet Dave, a self-proclaimed “hearty drinker” who firmly believes that as long as he stays away from the “strong stuff,” he’ll be able to maintain composure throughout the evening.
Friend Of Social Rugby Player Simply Delighted By Clubroom Beer Prices
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Sport HOW GOOD?? Jamie Nelson got a very pleasant surprise late on Saturday afternoon after coming along to watch his friend Regan’s rugby match for the first time. While Nelson was unimpressed with the skill level of both teams, and dismayed by the 9-6 final score, the low price of beer at […]
Local Man Believes The 12 Beers Ravaging His Insides Will Vanish After A Sluggish 5k Run
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture RUNNING AWAY FROM THE HANGOVER Enthusiastic runner Isaac Holmes lied to himself and those around him this morning as he laced up his New Balances for his morning run. His claim was that despite having a life-altering hangover from a dozen plus beers the night before, he would be able to […]
Bloke Heroically Starts On The Beers At 12 In Quest To Make It To Midnight
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture DON’T STOP BELIEVING Kieron Larson believes he is a strong chance to make it to the New Year’s Eve countdown tonight in something resembling a coherent state. Cracking open the first of many Steinlager Pures at 12:06pm, the 23 year-old did a quick “cheers boys” to a handful of mates at […]
