OPENING OLD WOUNDS: Rebecca Black Nervous That “Friday” Will Be Next On Trevor Mallard’s Playlist
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | National GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY Rebecca Black, singer of the ear-penetrating viral humiliator, Friday, is feeling as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. As Speaker of the House Trevor Mallard attempts to annoy anti-mandate protesters with a mix of Barry Manilow, Macarena and COVID-19 advertising, […]
Thousands of Stranded Kiwis Dump DJ Gear As Borders Open Up
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Politics A NEW DIMENSION! Ex-pat Kiwi Aaron Sampson, 24, has abruptly disposed of his four day-old turntables and mixer after news that New Zealand will open its borders to Kiwis living abroad. He is just one of thousands of Kiwis that will no longer have to transform themselves into DJs in order […]
DJ Omicron To Headline Rhythm and Hills Music Festival
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture The Whakataki region’s premier music festival, Rhythm and Hills, announced this morning that British dance music legend DJ Omicron will headline the festival this year. The very vaccinated DJ, responsible for such drum and bass classics as Three Negative Tests, No Symptoms and Everyone At The Festival Has To Be Vaccinated […]
Really, Really Unpredictable Outcome For Rich, Privileged Aucklanders
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Opinion Whakataki locals were shocked to find out this week that a very well-off couple from Auckland, who blatantly broke lockdown rules by taking a private flight to the Whakataki lakes district, had managed to get away with minor fines. 35-year-old property investor and horse enthusiast, Wilson Willeston was convicted and fined […]
