Man Has Absolutely No Intention Of Checking Out Of Hotel Before 10 AM

men having beers at courtney place wellington

The receptionist at Wellington’s Oriental Plaza may as well have kept the check-out time to herself when Mike Gillespie turned up on Friday afternoon.

Gillespie, 29, checked into the hotel ahead of his mate Steve’s stag do in the city. Gillespie had happily signed up for minimal sober hours during a two-day pub crawl along Wellington’s Courtenay Place and beyond.

Katie Billingsley, the 24 year old who was working on reception at the time, explained to the Whakataki Times that she may as well have just handed Gillespie his room key without a word. Then at least he could just march himself up to his room without having to lie to her face about 10 o’clock Sunday being an achievable checkout time.

Bleary-Eyed Local Confirms That Midweek Crafties’ll Bloody Getcha

Hungover man

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Local “PHHHHWARRRR” Whakataki electrician Taine Gainford, 29, got the shock of his life this morning, waking up with a completely unexpected hangover.  After the local sparkie innocently drank 4-5 craft beers in a trendy bar on Wednesday night, he was taken completely by surprise by the relentless head-throbber that greeted him the […]

Wellington Man Pretends To Enjoy The Taste Of Very High Percentage Craft Beer

Ryan Anderson pretending to enjoy craft beer.

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | National Ryan Anderson put on the acting performance of his life on Sunday. The stage was set when the 31 year old freelance designer met friends for drinks at a painfully trendy bar in the Wellington suburb of Newtown. Anderson’s friend Jamie was ordering at the bar and asked him what he […]

Man In Office With Blue Powerade Signals Midweek Hangover

Simon Marshall with his head in his hands with blue Powerade nearby.

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Local Simon Marshall didn’t need to say anything to his workmates this morning – his blue Powerade did all the talking.  The 29 year old quantity surveyor from Levin may as well have put a sign up saying “Viciously hungover, do not disturb”. Whakataki Construction account manager Jake Brooks agreed to provide […]

Woman Sinks To New Low With $6 Bottle Of Wine Ahead Of $10 Corkage

woman shocked at price of wine corkage

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Local Amelia Webster was momentarily paralysed today. The Whakataki Times can reveal that the incident occured when the 25 year-old kindergarten aide received the following message in her Facebook group chat of old high-school friends: “Hey lovelies! Just a heads up that corkage will be $10 tonight. This was the only place […]

Blue Powerade Consumed As Sports Drink, Dubbed a First For New Zealand

Man exercising with closeup of powerade

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Local news “But he’s not even hungover!” On Sunday morning Whakataki local Ben Fenton, 28, purchased and consumed a 750mL “Mountain-blast” flavoured Powerade, not because he was viciously hungover from the night before, but because his body was craving electrolytes after a bout of strenuous exercise.  Blue powerade has long been known […]