Bloke Heroically Starts On The Beers At 12 In Quest To Make It To Midnight
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture DON’T STOP BELIEVING Kieron Larson believes he is a strong chance to make it to the New Year’s Eve countdown tonight in something resembling a coherent state. Cracking open the first of many Steinlager Pures at 12:06pm, the 23 year-old did a quick “cheers boys” to a handful of mates at […]
Man Heavily Sedated After Four Beers In The Sun
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Local Dave McMillian, 44, was not under general anaesthetic for a serious medical procedure today, but to our reporters that’s exactly what it looked like. Neighbours explained to the Whakataki Times that the financial consultant had indulged in his fourth 330mL crafty APA, just as the heat ticked over to 31 degrees […]
Sunblock In Eyes Worse Than Being Pepper Sprayed
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | National Cam Jones, 23, was all set for a relaxing summer’s day at Waihi Beach today. But any thoughts of the day being remotely enjoyable were immediately thrown into utter chaos after the construction labourer rubbed sunscreen directly into his eyes. ‘Arrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fucking hell!’, cried Jones, whose eyeballs were now completely on […]
