Man Heavily Sedated After Four Beers In The Sun

Dave McMillan in a comatose state after four beers in the sun.

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Local Dave McMillian, 44, was not under general anaesthetic for a serious medical procedure today, but to our reporters that’s exactly what it looked like.  Neighbours explained to the Whakataki Times that the financial consultant had indulged in his fourth 330mL crafty APA, just as the heat ticked over to 31 degrees […]

Sunblock In Eyes Worse Than Being Pepper Sprayed

Cam Jones rubbing sunscreen into his eyes.

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | National Cam Jones, 23, was all set for a relaxing summer’s day at Waihi Beach today. But any thoughts of the day being remotely enjoyable were immediately thrown into utter chaos after the construction labourer rubbed sunscreen directly into his eyes. ‘Arrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fucking hell!’, cried Jones, whose eyeballs were now completely on […]