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Local Woman’s Out Of Office Auto Reply Beginning To Read More Like A Travel Itinerary

woman in office with out of office on thinking about airplaine

“HI THERE”

When 26-year-old Loren Ashley set up her out-of-office auto-reply last Friday, she didn’t just inform her colleagues she’d be away — she unwittingly provided them with a detailed travel log of her Christmas plans.

Local Mum Really Leaning On The “Santa Won’t Come” Threat To Round Off The Year

stressed mum in store with kids, thinking about santa

DESPERATE TIMES.

40 year old Katie Herbert, mother to boys Jack, 6, and Elliot, 8, is already at the end of her tether this holiday season.

Envious Phoenix Fan Gets Sick Pleasure From Auckland’s First Loss

Phoenix fan with losing Auckland team behind and headline

BACK DOWN TO EARTH.

In what can only be described as a humbling afternoon at Go Media Stadium, Auckland FC’s unbeaten run of seven games came to an abrupt and spectacular end.

Local Lesbian Braces For  Annual “When Are You Having Kids” Interrogation at Family Christmas

Young lady with tattoos

TOUCHY SUBJECT.

There is only one thing on Kassie Clarke’s mind this holiday season.

That’s how to avoid what is unavoidable: the looming annual interrogation from Grandma Mavis and Aunt Janet.

“Hardest Decision Of My Life” – Red Bull Driver On Having To Give Up Quidditch

Liam Lawson with red bull car and pic of Draco Malfoy

PODIUM SEEKER.

Liam Lawson, who is set to replace Sergio Pérez at Red Bull Racing for the 2025 Formula 1 season, has revealed the most difficult decision of his early career: leaving his prestigious position as seeker for the Slytherin quidditch team to pursue a full-time seat in Formula 1.

Bloke Loosely Points To “The Silly Season” To Justify Fourth Night At The Pub This Week

man at pub

WHEELS COMING OFF.

Christchurch man Jordan Evans, 31, has fully embraced the chaos of December by clocking up an impressive streak of pub visits.

Despite Media Spotlight Interislander Ferry Still A Horrible Way To Travel

interislander ferry with headline about it costing too much

SLOW MOTION PRISON.

With all the coverage of the ferries recently, much of it too complicated or boring to care about, it is easy to forget just how shit the Interislander experience is.

Man Working From Home During Last Week Of Work Definitely Not Just Watching Cricket

Kane Williamson lifting bat with wfh worker in foreground

ALL WORK NO PLAY.

Business analyst Jack Steele has a unique challenge this week – making it look like his focus is on the shared Word document he has open on his laptop instead of what is happening in the Blackcaps vs England test match in Hamilton.

Local Man Gets Strong Engagement After Expressing Opinion About Whether Die Hard Is A Christmas Movie Or Not

man on laptop with christmas die hard image in background

HOT TOPIC!

Wellington man Ben Mathison, 35, struck a chord this morning when he became passionately involved in the yearly debate over whether the action movie Die Hard is also a Christmas film or not.

GREYHOUND RACING BAN: Bloke Forced To Start Blowing His Chump Change On Random NBA Multis

man with beer thinking about lebron james and greyhounds.

LEAPING INTO ACTION.

The Government’s bombshell decision to ban greyhound racing in New Zealand has left many Kiwis grappling with the fallout, none more so than 29-year-old Corey O’Connor from Christchurch.

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.