Bloke’s ‘Quick Chat’ With The Neighbour Passes The 45 Minute Mark
CHAT TRAP
Aucklander Who Moved to Tauranga for ‘Laid-Back Lifestyle’ Now Complaining There’s Nothing to Do
Is ‘the Mount’ all it’s cracked up to be?
Woman Rescued From Her Zombie-Like State With Emergency Espresso Coffee
REJUVENATED.
The staff at The Good Home restaurant and bar, Prebbleton, could be forgiven for thinking it was the beginning of the zombie apocalypse this morning.
Luxon Eases Pain Of Poor Poll Result By Binging On Chip And Marmite Sandwiches
CRUNCHING THE NUMBERS.
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon was spotted sitting alone outside of Parliament’s Beehive today.
Local Bloke Can’t Justify Spending $60 on Groceries, But Happily Spends $120 on Friday Night Piss-Up
BOY MATH.
Daniel McCafferty has once again demonstrated his world-class financial priorities.
The 31 year-old recently balked at a $60 grocery bill before promptly forking out double that amount on a Friday night session with the boys.
“I Prefer Marmite Over Vegemite”: One Issue The Prime Minister Isn’t On The Fence About
STRONG STANCE.
In a rare moment of decisiveness, Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has put a stake in the ground over a hotly debated issue: Marmite vs Vegemite.
School Principals Slam Prime Minister For Suggesting Parents Make Marmite Sandwiches And Not Vegemite Ones
OUT OF TOUCH.
Teachers and principals took a break from sending photos of squashed school lunches to Stuff today, instead turning their attention to Prime Minister Christopher Luxon.
Desolate Earth Wins ‘Best Set Design’ For Post Apocalyptic Wasteland At Johnsonville Mall
GLIMMERING RUINS.
Wellington’s Johnsonville Mall has been rewarded at the Oscars this year for being hauntingly similar to a society in collapse.
Luxon Hopeful His Fresh New Volodymyr Zelenskyy Tattoo Will Impress New Zealand Voters
ISSUES THAT MATTER.
Prime Minister Christopher Luxon is quietly confident that he’s finally tapped into what matters most for New Zealand voters – Ukraine.
Christchurch Bloke Reckons He’s Pretty Open To New People, As Long As They’re From Christchurch
CRUSADE ON.
29-year-old Tim Riley has made it clear that he’s “pretty open” to meeting new folks in Christchurch.
