Hipkins Tight-Lipped About Plan To Remove GST From Sausage Rolls And Coke Zero
PASTRY PROMISE.
In the wake of recent speculation regarding the removal of GST from fruit and vegetables, Prime Minister Chippy Hipkins has found himself in the midst of another controversy.
This time, it revolves around two of his favourite things: sausage rolls and Coke Zero. However, despite media inquiries, the Prime Minister remains tight-lipped about whether Labour has any plans to exempt these items from the Goods and Services Tax (GST).
CONTENT CRISIS: Summer Festie Girl Having To Make Do With Dog Walks To Fill The Insta-Void
FROM RAVES TO ROVER.
Alyce Robinson, a 23-year-old from Christchurch, has found herself in the throes of a dreaded content crisis. With winter reigning supreme in the garden city, Alyce’s once sizzling Instagram feed had turned as frosty as the winter air.
Robinson, who would usually be armed with multiple saucy photos of herself ready to launch on her personal Instagram page, now had to subject her followers to an onslaught of fur coats, scarves, and winter boots.
REPORT: Toxic Political Work Culture Could Be Caused By “All The Lying And Backstabbing”
WHO KNEW?
A groundbreaking new report has found that the hidden cause of the toxic work culture within New Zealand’s parliament could be “all the lying and backstabbing”.
The independent report was commissioned by concerned citizens following the demise of Kiri Allan’s career, which came to a dramatic head this week, apparently due to unaddressed mental health issues.
Palmerston North Mayor Dusts Off The Old “Great Place To Raise A Family” Line
TAKING BACK THE NARRATIVE.
In response to recent reports of the Spain Women’s football team leaving their base in Palmerston North during the Women’s World Cup, citing boredom with the city, the Mayor of Palmerston North has dusted off the old adage that the city may be perceived as boring but remains a great place to raise a family.
The news of the Spanish team’s early departure from Palmy due to boredom has garnered mixed reactions from the city’s residents. While some are surprised that the city’s lack of excitement has become a talking point on the international stage, others are more understanding of the athletes’ point of view.
Local Dad Keen For All Blacks But Struggling With The Late Kickoff
NEED A COFFEE.
A 35-year-old dad from Palmerston North is currently locked in a personal test of stamina, as he prepares to support his beloved All Blacks tonight.
The late kickoff time of 9.45 pm, due to the ridiculous time difference with Australia, is proving to be quite the hurdle for this dedicated dad.
SELECTIVE SHARING: Bloke Quick To Boast About His TAB Wins Conveniently Makes No Mention Of Losses
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport DAILY BOAST Josh Edwards, 28, comes across like he could make a stable career out of TAB sports betting. According to what he posts to his Facebook group chat with old high school friends, the carpenter from Nelson seems to only ever win when it comes to sports betting. “BOOM! Another […]
HISTORY LESSON: 20 Year-Old Australian Learns The Wallabies Once Held The Bledisloe Cup
MYTHS AND LEGENDS.
20-year-old Lochie Gardner from the Tuggeranong Valley in Australia, recently discovered an astonishing piece of sports history: the Wallabies once held the Bledisloe Cup.
Little did Gardner know that a couple of decades ago, in the year 2002, the Wallabies managed to get their hands on the illustrious Bledisloe Cup. “It’s mind-boggling, maaate! I couldn’t believe it when I found out,” exclaimed Gardner, wiping the dust off a history book that was older than he was.
Smug Wellingtonian Insists Their Coffee “Can’t Be Beat”
JUST LIKE A GOOD DAY.
Zeb Dustow, a self proclaimed coffee aficionado has constantly spread the gospel of Wellington’s coffee culture.
The 31 year-old has long held the belief that Wellington has the best coffee in the country, if not the world.
Dustow, who often grabs a morning coffee on the way to his start-up tech job in the Wellington CBD, would likely be offended by the mere suggestion that another place or city could rival any coffee made in Wellington.
Literally Just Sugar And Egg Whites Combined Causes Ongoing Trans-Tasman Feud
MADE IN NZ.
The Pavlova has been the cause of a culinary cold war between Australia and New Zealand for a number of decades now.
However as time goes on it comes across as more pathetic given that it’s effectively an ongoing debate about who combined sugar and egg whites together first, with both countries claiming to possess some sort of secret family recipe, handed down through generations.
MENTAL FORTITUDE: Millennial Boyfriend Patiently Sits Through Entire Barbie Movie
A CALLOUSED MIND.
Masterton man, Jack Thompson, 27, exhibited unparalleled mental fortitude last night as he sat through the entire screening of “Barbie: The Movie” at Regent 3 Cinemas. The effort came as his partner, Emma Richardson, 26, was excited to witness the movie advertised as a fun time for all.
As the theatre went dark and the pink and white Barbie logo flashed onto the screen, Thompson instantly began asking himself questions about his mental toughness. The film, filled to the top with feminist messaging, would challenge even the strongest of minds.
