JUSTIFYING LAST WEEK: Wahs Fan Empties TAB Account On Broncs
SHOW ME THE MONEY.
Die-hard Warriors fan Mark Hickey has declared himself the newest supporter of the Brisbane Broncos.
His late support comes ahead of tonight’s NRL Grand Final, where he will empty the remainder of his TAB account on the Broncos who face current champions, the Penrith Panthers.
This unexpected allegiance swap comes hot on the heels of the Warriors’ unfortunate loss to the Broncos last week, leaving Hickey feeling like he had no choice but to jump ship and back the very team that had dashed his hopes.
Italians Blame Lacklustre Performance On “Not Enough Of Nonna’s Meatballs”
EXPLAINS IT.
The Italian rugby team have effectively blamed their 96-17 pool match loss to the All Blacks on their poor pre-match preparation.
Rather than admitting that they were simply outclassed on the field in all facets of the game, the Italians are pointing their fingers at a most unexpected culprit – the absence of Nonna’s legendary meatballs.
For those not in the know, Nonna Maria’s meatballs have been an integral part of the Italian rugby team’s pre-match ritual during this Rugby World Cup. They helped them to a huge 52-8 win over Namibia and then a second half comeback against Uruguay where they won 38-17.
ABs Group Stage Match Against Italy Somehow Feeling Like A Cup Final
HOW DID IT COME TO THIS?
It’s safe to say that this is another fine mess the All Blacks have gotten themselves into.
After losing their first ever pool match in World Cup history (annoyingly against the French) the All Blacks have been forced to name a full strength starting line-up to take on a team that they have famously thrashed in past years.
While the Italian side will be feeling confidence practically bursting from their downstairs, the All Blacks are treating the match like it’s the final.
Sam Whitelock To Bring Back The Monobrow For Record Test Appearance
FINALLY.
Sam Whitelock will mark tomorrow’s record-breaking 149th All Blacks test by bringing back the “was-it-wasn’t-it” monobrow that he sported early in his test career.
Whitelock will become the most capped All Black of all time when he’s injected off the bench in tomorrow’s must-win World Cup pool match against Italy.
Those in the know say the grizzled lock takes more pride in his appearance than many might think, and considers his greying 5 o’clock shadow a signature look.
Local Man Hastily Points Out That His Run Down Car Will “Get You From A To B”
DOES THE JOB.
In a world where most people complain about their old vehicles, a 29-year-old Palmerston North man is reminding us that sometimes, all you need is a little optimism and a reliable old car to get by.
Jake Anderson is a concreter with a heart full of positivity and a car that’s seen better days. While most people his age are dreaming of shiny new rides, Jake passionately defends his trusty ‘98 Corolla.
“Hey, it gets me from A to B though doesn’t it”, he said confidently.
National Party Leader Weirdly Silent On His Playing Career For The Hurricanes And All Blacks
GLORY DAYS.
National Party leader Bull Allen likes to keep his cards close to his chest.
While on the campaign trail the most recognisable bald man in New Zealand has not taken the opportunity to talk about how he spent his formative years tearing up the rugby field for the Hurricanes, Central Vikings and also a handful of tests for the All Blacks.
As he tries to convince a rugby mad nation to like him and get to know him, it appears Allen’s story is one that should be celebrated, or at the very least, acknowledged. But Bull Allen (real name Mark), in his quest to become Prime Minister, seems to have forgotten his glory days on the rugby field.
Man Who Enjoyed Slow Cooker Meal Seven Months Ago Still Hasn’t Had Another One
SHOULD DO IT MORE.
A Kiwi man who cracked the cost of living crisis with a slow cooked meal one time is yet to capitalise on his discovery.
Geraldine 27 year old Nathan O’Halloran knew he was onto something when his Mum gifted him an old slow cooker in March. Excited, he set up a corned beef one Sunday morning, timing it perfectly for dinner that night.
“Honestly, it was so good,” he reflects. “It was super easy, super quick, and real cheap. Just put it with some mashed potatoes and veggies – the whole thing would have cost about $20 bucks, it fed me and the missus and I had leftovers for sandwiches for pretty much the whole week.”
New Zealand And Australia Pinpoint Start Of Downward Slide Just After The Sunwolves Left Super Rugby
NEVER RECOVERED.
The descent of New Zealand and Australian Rugby into the abyss has been unequivocally traced back to the very moment when The Sunwolves made their exit from the Super Rugby stage.
As the Wallabies prepare for an early World Cup exit and the All Blacks try to keep their playoff hopes alive after a first ever pool play loss, pundits have been trying to work out where it all started going wrong.
Reflecting on the dwindling confidence within Super Rugby teams, NZ Rugby CEO Mark Robinson offers a sombre perspective: “When the trans-Tasman sides can no longer muster 80 points against their opponents, you can’t help but question the impact on the morale of our Super Rugby outfits which then leads into international rugby.
Humble Kiwi Challenged By Realisation He Does Actually Like Capers
FLASH GUY.
A self proclaimed “average bloke” is reevaluating what he’s up to after realising he actually does like capers after all.
Whanganui carpenter Tom Jacobs, 28, has always thought of himself as a man of the people. He considers himself low maintenance and easy going.
“I’m just your standard kiwi,” he says humbly.
Jacobs says that’s now all changed with one tasty bite of a salmon and cream cheese bagel at his local cafe.
New Dad Browsing Whitcoulls Happy To See That This Guy’s Still Smashing It
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture GOOD ON HIM Local dad Hamish Thompson was delighted to discover today that Spot the Dog, from the lift-the-flap books he remembers from his own childhood, is still putting the work in after all these years. Thompson, 37, stumbled upon the news while perusing the Whitcoulls children’s section, an activity he […]
