Woman’s Patience Wearing Thin After Boyfriend Puts Dirty Plate In Dishwasher With The Clean Dishes

“JAKE! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CALL THIS?”
Danielle Timmins’ blood was boiling this evening.
After a hectic day at the pre-school she worked at, the 29 year old came home early to make dinner for herself and her current boyfriend of two years, Jake Coombes.
Auckland FC Management Predicts First Loss Will Cause 75% Of Fans To Instantly Evaporate

THE AUCKLAND WAY.
As Auckland FC continue their dream run in their first season of the A-League, Chairman Bill Foley is preparing for the absolute worst and most likely scenario.
Car-Selling Expert Tory Whanau Rumoured To Replace Tina From Turners

TORY FROM TURNERS.
Instead of copping more flak over her recent media missteps, Wellington Mayor Tory Whanau has had some surprisingly good news – she’s reportedly in the running to replace Tina from Turners, New Zealand’s beloved spokesperson for Turners Car Auctions.
Wellington Woman Sets LinkedIn On Fire With Post About Work Life Balance

GROUNDBREAKING.
43 year old recruitment manager Michelle Williamson’s LinkedIn account has been popping off this week, with likes and comments rolling in thick and fast.
Local Man Hastily Points Out That His Run Down Car Will “Get You From A To B”

DOES THE JOB.
In a world where most people complain about their old vehicles, a 29-year-old Palmerston North man is reminding us that sometimes, all you need is a little optimism and a reliable old car to get by.
Jake Anderson is a concreter with a heart full of positivity and a car that’s seen better days. While most people his age are dreaming of shiny new rides, Jake passionately defends his trusty ‘98 Corolla.
“Hey, it gets me from A to B though doesn’t it”, he said confidently.
Consultant On $6k A Week Really Sad About All The Work He Put Into The Whole RNZ/TVNZ Thing

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics WHAT A SHAME Senior Business Analyst Tim Carson has done well to hide his disappointment in recent weeks. The consultant advising the government and billing at $150 an hour was clearly mortified that all the work he has put into the RNZ / TVNZ merger has been for nothing. The merger […]
Scott Robertson Only Five More Super Rugby Titles Away From Being Considered For All Blacks Job

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport GETTING CLOSER! Scott ‘Razor’ Robertson is now as close as he’s ever been to becoming All Blacks head coach. That’s after the New Zealand Rugby Union revealed to the Crusaders supercoach that they may consider him as a potential candidate for the top job, if he simply wins another five straight […]
Rising Cost Of Petrol Certain To Force Dan Carter Out Of Retirement

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport IN THE SAME BOAT! Daniel Carter, considered one of the greatest players in rugby history, is rumoured to be rejoining the workforce as a professional player due the soaring cost of petrol. The Whakataki Times spoke to witnesses who saw the former All Black’s perplexed look as he glanced up at […]
Summer Interns at Wellington Law Firm Thrilled To Report Zero Sexual Harassment

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | National MODERN DAY MIRACLE! Three Victoria University law students have have miraculously made it through their summer internship at Randall-McClay without having to report any sexual misconduct during their three month stay. Ellie Williamson, Genevieve Cook and Ruby Lewis, all 20, were stoked to not have had to put up with a […]