Trendy Sunday Morning Walkers Play A Straight Bat With Black Tights And Puffer Jacket Combo
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture HARD TO GO WRONG Friends Amy Wilson and Juliet Corrigan made no waves at all this morning. The last thing the Sunday morning walkers wanted was to put themselves under pressure for no good reason. While usually very forward-thinking in the realm of fashion, both women opted for a classic combination […]
Johnson On Plane Home Still Laughing About How Easy That Try Was
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport WHAT’S SO FUNNY SHAUN? Warriors playmaker Shaun Johnson has a serious case of the giggles. It’s not that he’s watching a funny movie on the plane back to Auckland from Canberra – Johnson is apparently struggling to get over just how easily he scored the final try in the Warriors’ 36-14 […]
Michael Wood Has Still Not Taken Out Rubbish After Being Asked 12 Times
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Politics GETTING ‘ROUND TO IT Transport Minister Michael Wood has an uncanny ability to say he’ll do something, delay it, and then forget about it altogether. Wood’s latest saga is one of household negligence, where he allegedly failed to take the kitchen rubbish to the outdoor bin, despite being asked to do […]
Smug Millennial Derails Enjoyable Discussion About Super Rugby By Saying “Oh Are We Talking About Sportsball?”
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture “I DON’T GET WHY PEOPLE CARE” Sam Ellison and Josh Orr could not have been doing anything more normal this morning, discussing the latest Super Rugby results from over the weekend at their Wellington accounting firm. ‘What did you make of the Canes beating the Crusaders? The champions are looking a […]
Dad Visiting Daughter Instinctively Asks When She Last Checked Her Oil
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Local DON’T WANT TO GET CAUGHT OUT 55 year old Graham Dolden will never stop doling out the fatherly advice, no matter how unwelcome it is. No one knows this better than daughter Megan, who has just been flattened by Dolden’s latest query about when she last checked the oil in her […]
RADIO SILENCE: Shaun Johnson Checks In On Critics To See If They’re Okay
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport HASN’T HEARD FROM THEM Warriors playmaker Shaun Johnson is a caring man. After tearing the Wayne Bennett coached Redcliffe Dolphins apart in a 30-8 victory at Mount Smart, Johnson worried that something horrible may have happened to a few certain journalists and keyboard warriors, all of whom had gone mysteriously quiet. […]
Man Impresses Nobody After Taking To Social Media With His Latest 5k Time
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW Joel Price is often seen in the mornings pounding the pavements of Christchurch. The 27 year-old regularly tracks his times using a running app, so naturally all he can think about is the moment when he can share them on Facebook and Instagram. Making sure his […]
Man Who Never Takes Showers Thriving Amid Cost Of Living Crisis
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | National FINDING MONEY IN WEIRD PLACES Stuart “Stinky” Stevenson may have unwittingly discovered the best way to save money in today’s economic climate (and some say it’s even better than our government’s savings tips in their “Finding money in weird places” campaign). While the campaign suggests people shorten their showers to save […]
Kiwi Bloke Who Has Visited Sydney Once Gets Disproportionately Charged Up About NSW Origin Team
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport BLEEDS BLUE Brad Fairbrother pulled on his New South Wales Origin jersey like he was a Sydneysider living on Bondi Beach this evening. But in reality, Brad is just a 29-year-old builder from Christchurch who for some reason displays an unwavering love for NSW every time the State of Origin series […]
Wellington Eco-Warrior Obsessed With Emissions Happily Blows Nicotine Vape Clouds Into Atmosphere
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture TOUCHY SUBJECT Amelia Hipkins, a self proclaimed eco-warrior, has always preached the importance of sustainable living to anyone she meets. However for the 26 year-old Massey University design student, there is one habit she can’t kick – and that’s vaping. With every puff Hipkins takes, she unknowingly releases nicotine, heavy metals […]
