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Jacinda Ardern, Grant Robertson and Chris Hipkins with headgear extracting brain fog from their minds.

Labour Turns Down Fog Cannon Requests And Offers Their Own Brain Fog Instead

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Luxon in lounge where ram raid has happened

Luxon Hoping That The “Make It 16” Campaigners Don’t Try To Ram Raid His House

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Ardern wearing skellerup gumboots at WOW

Ardern Models New Red Rim Skellerups That She’ll Kick Farmers In The Guts With

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Willie Jackson with FBoy Island branding in the background and TVNZ buildings

Willie Jackson Confirms New Public Media Entity Will Provide 24 Hour Fuckboy Island Coverage

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Ardern at world of wearable arts

Very Relatable, Down To Earth Prime Minister Appears As A Model In Premiere Fashion Show

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Man emailing Kelvin Davis on phone

Local Bloke Flicks Kelvin Davis An Email Just To Check If He’s Māori Enough To Call Himself Māori

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Mike Hosking in Maserati with poll results in background

NATIONAL STILL AHEAD IN THE POLLS: Hosking Jumps In The Maserati And Boosts Into Work Ten Hours Early

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Grant Robertson, Jacinda Ardern and Savage

Govt Receives Savage Report From Business Leaders – Savageness To Be Peer-Reviewed By Savage

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woman cycling with flooding in the background

Left field Wellington Mayoral Candidate Presents Controversial Plan To Convert Cycleways Into Open Sewers

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Jacinda Ardern smashing piggy bank

KIWISAVER U-TURN: Government Also Shelves Plan To Smash Open Your Kids’ Piggy Banks

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire has a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news website, which means the stories are made up for comedic effect.