How To Talk About Climate Change With “That” Annoying Little Activist At Christmas
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture URRGH.. Holidays mean time with family – including some who you may not see eye-to-eye with. The topic of climate change can be divisive, especially when you’re getting lectured by your 18-year-old nephew or niece who thinks the world’s coming to an end in ten years. Here are a few tips […]
Wellington Man Laughed Out Of His Friend Group For Not Liking Coffee Or Craft Beer
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture “JUST NOT MY THING” Mitch Bishop is feeling a bit left out at the moment. The 25 year-old recently found himself in the middle of an awkward conversation between a mate of his and a handful of acquaintances at a cafe in Aro Valley. One of the group piped up and […]
Local Bloke Proudly Displays Div 4 Indoor Sport Medal Like He’s Some Sort Of Elite Athlete
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport MOVE OVER MESSI Jono Watson had always wanted to make it big in sport. But the reality is that the 29 year-old never made it anywhere near a top level side in any sport he’s tried playing. However despite not racking up many achievements in either rugby or cricket during his […]
Gaurav Sharma Hit With Noise Complaint About His “Loud And Uncontrollable Laughter”
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics “SORRY, IT’S JUST SO GOOD” Expelled Labour MP Guarav Sharma is lucky to avoid a fine from Hamilton City Council today after a complaint was made to noise control about his “loud and uncontrollable laughter”. Sharma was in his lounge when noise control officers banged on the door to give him […]
<strong>Annoying Friend Won’t Shut Up About How She’s Already Done Her Christmas Shopping</strong>
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture “WE GET IT, YOU’RE ORGANISED” Kelly Spratt can’t wait to strike up a conversation about Christmas shopping. That’s because the 26 year-old from Christchurch has already completed all of hers and cannot wait to tell that to others who have not done the same. Our reporters were with Spratt as she […]
Secret To Living A Private Life REVEALED! (And It Doesn’t Include Making A Netflix Documentary About Yourself)
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Lifestyle Are you tired of being in the media spotlight? Are you and your partner a celebrity couple who just want to live a quiet life like normal people? Your dream could become a reality – and it could be easier to get there than you think. Former royal couple Harry and […]
MORE POOR POLLING: Ardern Schedules Second Trip To Antarctica In The Hope That She Polls Better With Penguins
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics THE PENGUINS DON’T BELIEVE MISINFORMATION Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern is apparently planning a second trip to Antarctica in February. Unlike her trip a month ago, this trip is all about getting some political wins under her belt. Because Ms. Ardern’s polling is not where she’d like it to be in New […]
Man Suddenly Remembers Beer Bottle He Put In The Freezer After Hearing Loud Bang From The Kitchen
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture SAID HE WOULDN’T FORGET Saturday night beer drinker Mark Hammersmith decided he’d roll the dice last night, opting to rapidly cool the temperature of two of his beer bottles by putting them in the freezer. Hammersmith was of course gambling on his own ability to remember that he had deposited the […]
Low Level Employee Looking To Cash In On Christmas Party Bar Tab
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture MAKING IT COUNT Brodie Patterson couldn’t get up to the bar quick enough at his company’s end of year xmas do this afternoon. The 22 year-old customer advisor, who answers queries on the phones for a living, was determined to make the most of the free alcohol being provided by his […]
Labour Turns Down Fog Cannon Requests And Offers Their Own Brain Fog Instead
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics “GLOBAL SHORTAGE” The Government is set to announce an innovative new plan to keep our shops safe from violent criminals once and for all. Because of the “global shortage” of fog cannons, which were meant to be rolled out to shop owners that needed them to protect their shops from armed […]
