CNN Now Saying Virus Probably Came From That Big Building Full Of Viruses
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | World OH REAL? Very mainstream news provider CNN reported yesterday that the virus that went around the world over the last couple of years likely did come from the Wuhan Institute of Virology, a very large building that contains many viruses. The news came as a shock to most of the general […]
Man Leans In To Sunday Hangover By Extending It To Monday
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture JUST EMBRACE IT Sam Westman, a recruitment advisor at a top agency in Hamilton, has taken a novel approach to his semi-frequent Sunday hangover. The 24 year old is by no means drinking as much as he was in his uni days, however he does still find himself dangerously hungover on […]
Christchurch Woman Rated As Socially Acceptable After Correctly Answering The “What School Did You Go To?” Question
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture IT MATTERS Monique Gilchrist felt like she was being watched like a hawk over the weekend, as she went for some casual drinks in Papanui, an affluent suburb in Christchurch. The 26 year-old, who was a newcomer to the friend group, felt like the dreaded question “What school did you go […]
Losing A Company Laptop Definitely Not As Bad As Losing 3.2 Tonnes Of Cocaine
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | National THE BOSS WON’T BE HAPPY One South American drug lord out there won’t be a happy chappy today. Whoever the unlucky crime boss is, they have just lost 3.2 tonnes of their cocaine, half a billion dollars worth, after it was intercepted by the Royal New Zealand Navy. The Whakaktai Times […]
LIFE GOES ON: Undeterred By Flooding, Auckland Teen Ramraids Dairy In Motorboat
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | National RESILIENCE Amid all the destruction in Auckland at the moment due to unprecedented flash flooding over the weekend, one teen showed us that it would take more than a bit of rain to slow him down. Dylan Mathieson, 15, refused to let flooding get in the way of his goals yesterday, […]
Auckland Dad Who Usually Says “We Needed This Rain” Now Very Quiet
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | National DOSE OF REALITY Auckland dad Simon Johnson is usually quite vocal about how he believes a good downpour of rain is needed for his garden at his Takapuna home. However after witnessing Auckland’s torrential flooding over the past 48 hours, the 46 year-old father of two has been uncharacteristically quiet. “Usually […]
Hungover Bloke Ignores Cafe Menu And Robotically Orders The Big Breakfast
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture “JUST THE BIG BREKKIE FOR ME THANKS” Liam Hunt was certain about one thing this morning. That was he knew he’d be ordering whatever big breakfast option the menu provided at Wanaka’s Urban Grind Eatery & Bar. The certainty comes after the 29 year-old spent last night with a group of […]
Soon To Be New PM Chris Hipkins Will Officially Replace “Be Kind” Slogan With “Spread Your Legs”
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics STRAIGHT TO WORK Chris “Chippy” Hipkins is set to stamp his personality on the prime ministership when he takes over the top job in February. After no-one else wanted to take on the responsibility of leading Labour into a deeply humiliating election defeat, Hipkins agreed to captain the sinking ship. The […]
Mike Hosking Allegedly “Did A Little Dance”
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics “YOU’RE IN A GOOD MOOD MIKE” An unnamed source close to veteran broadcaster Mike Hosking claims that he “did a little dance”, and that we all know why. The claim is eerily similar to someone else who in June 2020 said that she “did a little dance” because she thought that […]
HOLIDAY MISHAP: Woman Forgets To Post Aerial Photo From Inside Plane
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture MISSED OPPORTUNITY Holly Carrigan, 25, missed a golden opportunity this morning. She had the chance to deliver top quality pre-holiday content to her numerous instagram followers, which would have been the perfect start to her trip to Queenstown – but she absolutely blew it. As she sat on the Air New […]
