Consultant On $6k A Week Really Sad About All The Work He Put Into The Whole RNZ/TVNZ Thing
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Politics WHAT A SHAME Senior Business Analyst Tim Carson has done well to hide his disappointment in recent weeks. The consultant advising the government and billing at $150 an hour was clearly mortified that all the work he has put into the RNZ / TVNZ merger has been for nothing. The merger […]
REVEALED: Scribe’s “Not Many” Inspired By Forks Going Missing In The Break Room
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture HOW MANY FORKS YOU KNOW? In a stunning revelation kiwi rapper Scribe has said that his hit song “Not Many” is actually about the constant mysterious disappearance of forks in workplace break rooms. The lyric “Not many, if any”, was originally Christchurch rapper’s response to a workmate asking how many forks […]
King’s College Student Intrigued By The Idea That There’s a “Cost” Of Living
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture BAFFLING STUFF Jeffrey Richards, 16, almost took home a valuable lesson from his economics class at King’s College today. Richards, who attends the prestigious college at around $28,000 a year, was completely taken aback when his teacher explained how once they finish at King’s they would have to get a job […]
Local Bloke Still Adjusting To The Idea Of Taking The Blues Seriously
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport INTERESTING TIMES Dave Parkes, a longtime supporter of The Blues, has struggled to accept that the team he’s supported since a child, has now been consistently doing well over the past few seasons. After years of disappointment since their 2003 Super 12 title, the 32 year-old has been sceptical every time […]
ONE TEAM: Office Staff Bond Over Shared Hatred For The Company
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture CULTURE FROM THE BOTTOM UP At the end of yet another shit house week at Wellington’s “A Plus Accounting”, a select group of staff were positively charged up for a drink or four after work. They reached Wellington’s Meow bar at the early time of 4.32, for their regular Friday attempt […]
Gen Z Student Trapped On Hold To StudyLink Hears Brooke Fraser For The First Time
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture THROWING HER A LIFELINE Vic uni student Zara Ellison had her reality expanded today after finding herself in the unfortunate position of being on hold, waiting to talk to Studylink. The 18 year-old from Wellington was held captive to her phone for what felt like an eternity, until she was suddenly […]
CNN Now Saying Virus Probably Came From That Big Building Full Of Viruses
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | World OH REAL? Very mainstream news provider CNN reported yesterday that the virus that went around the world over the last couple of years likely did come from the Wuhan Institute of Virology, a very large building that contains many viruses. The news came as a shock to most of the general […]
Man Leans In To Sunday Hangover By Extending It To Monday
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture JUST EMBRACE IT Sam Westman, a recruitment advisor at a top agency in Hamilton, has taken a novel approach to his semi-frequent Sunday hangover. The 24 year old is by no means drinking as much as he was in his uni days, however he does still find himself dangerously hungover on […]
Christchurch Woman Rated As Socially Acceptable After Correctly Answering The “What School Did You Go To?” Question
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture IT MATTERS Monique Gilchrist felt like she was being watched like a hawk over the weekend, as she went for some casual drinks in Papanui, an affluent suburb in Christchurch. The 26 year-old, who was a newcomer to the friend group, felt like the dreaded question “What school did you go […]
Losing A Company Laptop Definitely Not As Bad As Losing 3.2 Tonnes Of Cocaine
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | National THE BOSS WON’T BE HAPPY One South American drug lord out there won’t be a happy chappy today. Whoever the unlucky crime boss is, they have just lost 3.2 tonnes of their cocaine, half a billion dollars worth, after it was intercepted by the Royal New Zealand Navy. The Whakaktai Times […]
