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Low Level Regional Newspaper Hoping Very Available Journo Can Add Some Star Power

Tova O'Brien Job offer

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | National SOS! We at the Whakataki Times have made a desperate plea to former TV3 Political Editor Tova O’Brien, to come onboard and overhaul our political reporting department. This comes after an independent report into our operations rated our general attitude as “completely disengaged politically”. Upon hearing that O’Brien is very available […]

HEALTH AND SAFETY NIGHTMARE: Public Servant Working From Home Running A Laptop-Couch Workstation

Ben Jamieson's non-compliant laptop-couch workstation

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | National Wellington-based communications advisor Ben Jamieson, 33, has shocked and appalled his health and safety rep at the Ministry of Education, after a zoom call revealed his brazenly non-compliant work-from-home workstation.  Jamieson’s utter disregard for health and safety was exposed yesterday morning, when HR advisor Gemma Thompson noticed his laptop-couch arrangement during […]

LEAKED: Retiree’s Full Complaint About Widely Popular Fresh Approach To Cricket Commentary

Keith Williams upset about ACC commentary of Black Clash

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Sport NOT THAT ANYONE ASKED FOR IT Following the Rugby vs Cricket Black Clash coverage on Saturday night, Keith Williams, 69, has followed through with his promise to be decisively revolted by the Alternative Commentary Collective. Boomer Drafts Complaint To The Broadcasting Standards Authority Ahead Of Black Clash Commentary Keith has not […]

Remembering Face Mask A Step Too Far On Top Of Wallet, Keys and Phone

Steve Morgan forgetting face mask in street.

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Local Whakataki local Steve Morgan has confirmed his place in his boss’s bad books today after being late to work for the second time in as many weeks.  The 26-year-old scaffolder told the Whakataki Times that during his morning routine he forgot his face mask, an additional item that has been tacked […]

Wellington Man Pretends To Enjoy The Taste Of Very High Percentage Craft Beer

Ryan Anderson pretending to enjoy craft beer.

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | National Ryan Anderson put on the acting performance of his life on Sunday. The stage was set when the 31 year old freelance designer met friends for drinks at a painfully trendy bar in the Wellington suburb of Newtown. Anderson’s friend Jamie was ordering at the bar and asked him what he […]

Woman Claims To Need Holiday To Recover From Her Holiday

Kelly Higgins laughing in office.

ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture BACK TO WORK BLUES! Kelly Higgins, 27, does not want to accept the reality she is in. “It’s like I need a holiday to recover from my holiday!” laughed the Finance Administrator from Rotorua, surrounded by work colleagues. This comment and many more like it came after spending four weeks sleeping […]

Man In Office With Blue Powerade Signals Midweek Hangover

Simon Marshall with his head in his hands with blue Powerade nearby.

GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Local Simon Marshall didn’t need to say anything to his workmates this morning – his blue Powerade did all the talking.  The 29 year old quantity surveyor from Levin may as well have put a sign up saying “Viciously hungover, do not disturb”. Whakataki Construction account manager Jake Brooks agreed to provide […]