Man Comes To One Training And One Game And Is Never Seen Again

AWOL
Wellington club rugby coach Craig Briggs was getting a sense of deja vu this season.
Previously Very Confident Hurricanes Fan Mysteriously Absent From Group Chat

VANISHING ACT.
Daryl Macaskill, a die-hard Hurricanes fan from Porirua, has been mysteriously absent from his mates Facebook group chat since the weekend.
Fed Up Office Worker Once Again Googles “How To Make Money Online”

PASSIVE INCOME.
Hunter Donaldson, 25, found himself in an all too familiar situation at work today, as he once again realised the harsh reality of his admin job at the Ministry of Education.
Delusional One Eyed Cantab Claims To Have Tickets To “Tonight’s Crusaders Semifinal”

SEE YOU THERE!
With the Super Rugby Pacific semifinals underway this weekend, one thing is for certain, the Crusaders are in no way involved.
Former Colleagues Run Into Each Other In Town, Agree To Have Coffee Sometime, And Then Never Do

NEED A CATCH UP.
Career-focused Wellingtonians Mitch Connor and Logan Larsen were not expecting to run into each other today, despite Lambton Quay being commonly filled with lunch time foot traffic.
Old Friends Inevitably End Up Spending All Night Naming Old Warriors Players

ALI LAUITI’ITI!
A simple catch up between 33-year-old mates, Mark Hickey and Ryan Duff, turned into an all-night saga which was fueled by the nostalgia of Warriors players from yesteryear.
Clubroom Beer Prices Continue To Defeat Inflation In New Zealand

ECONOMIC OUTLOOK IS GOOD.
With all the economic doom and gloom in New Zealand and the world right now, there is one part of society that is bucking the trend – New Zealand sports clubs.
Tomorrow’s Third Division Rugby Game Last Thing On Player’s Mind Tonight

WILL SWEAT IT OUT TOMORROW.
Mike Jenkins, a 28 year-old third division rugby player from Christchurch, had no qualms knocking back his third beer of the afternoon.
Unlucky Public Servant Has Voluntary Redundancy Application Turned Down

UNLUGGY.
Warren Cartwright, an actively disengaged employee at the Ministry for the Environment, suffered a major setback today.
Christchurch Matches On Tinder Now Autofill Chat With “What School Did You Go To?”

REPUTATION ROMANCE.
Millie Golding, a 24-year-old former student of Rangiruru Girls High School, was thrilled to discover that Tinder had finally caught on to what really mattered in Christchurch – which school you went to.