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Punters Around The Globe Flocking To Get Hands On Lucky Black Flaps Sunhat

tim naki in front of laptop on ACC black flaps shop page

MANIFEST A MILLI.

With Tim Naki reaching his goal of making a million dollars in online blackjack on Day 83 of his “Manifest a Milli” campaign, gambling enthusiasts around the globe all have their eyes on obtaining one particular item of clothing.

Local Teenager Enjoying Phone Ban After Playing Handball For The First Time

boy with tennis ball at school

SKILL OVER SNAPCHATS

15 year old Jake Billingsley has been forced out of his comfort zone this week, and has taken up the challenge of the once universally-played sport of handball.

Goodshirt’s Music Video For Sophie Still The Most Engaging Content Of All Time

Sophie music video by Goodshirt

SO SWEET SO FINE.

It may just be a single camera shot, but the video for the song “Sophie” by New Zealand band Goodshirt, still remains to be the most engaging thing ever made.

Polling Shows Surge In Support For Tim Naki As Preferred Prime Minister

HOUSE OF CARDS. 

Tonight’s 1News Verian Poll has shown a jump in support for Tim Naki, a man who the New Zealand public now rates as one of the top people they want as Prime Minister.

Club Rugby Team Forced to Adapt to Player’s “Fashionably Late” Style

stressed rugby coach looking at phone in rugby changing room

“HOW FAR AWAY ARE YOU MATE?”

Tim Coles, 27, has never been good with time management.

39-0 Win: Crusaders Fans Now Eyeing Up Title Winning Victory Parade

blonde woman celebrating crusaders win behind her

IT’S COMING HOME.

Crusaders fans may just be getting ahead of themselves after their team’s comprehensive win last night.

Hurricanes Fan Feeling Morally Virtuous After Sending Supportive Message To Crusaders Facebook Page

canes fan in front of crusaders fb page on laptop

SO HUMBLE.

Campbell Taylor, a die-hard Hurricanes fan notorious for his ‘our year’ claims, has outdone himself by leaving what he describes as a “genuinely supportive” message on the Crusaders’ Facebook page.

Local Man Seesaws Between “Our Year” And “Typical Farrkin Warriors”

disappointed warriors fan in front of losing team.

ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTION.

Psychologically battered Auckland man TJ Warrington has been following the Warriors his whole life.

Local Bloke Putting Back His Sixth Beer Claims He’ll Get Up For Dawn Service

tradies having beers and having anz

GOOD INTENTIONS!

Jake Symons, 26, has fooled absolutely nobody after making the outlandish claim that he’ll be getting up at the crack of dawn on a public holiday for the Anzac service.

Instagram Releases New Filters For Christchurch People To Show What School They Went To

new christchurch school filter for instagram

LEGACY LENS. 

Instagram has unveiled a new feature: Filters for Christchurch people to proudly display their high school affiliations.

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.