CRUSADERS CRISIS: One Eyed Cantab Believes It’s 2004 And He’s Being Punk’d By Ashton Kutcher
ONLY EXPLANATION.
A disbelieving Craig Chamberlain is testing a new theory about why the Crusaders appear to be last on the Super Rugby table.
Blenheim Driver In Auckland Hits Three Red Lights In A Row And Absolutely Loses His Mind
HOW DO YOU GET ANYWHERE?!?!?!
Blenheim real estate agent Simon Jones reckons replacing traffic lights with roundabouts would fix Auckland’s traffic problems.
Crusaders Fans Encouraged To Streak During Games So Crowd Has Something To Cheer About
GETTING CREATIVE.
The Crusaders marketing department has come up with a novel approach to ensuring home Super Rugby games are entertaining.
COST CUTTING: Stuff’s 6 O’Clock News Bulletin To Be Presented By A.I Robot
SAVINGS TO BE MADE.
Only hours after revealing that Stuff would be taking over TV 3’s 6 o’clock news duties, owner Sinead Boucher has dropped another bombshell.
Wellingtonian Growing Hair Out In Anticipation Of Windswept Winter Look
TAKE THE WEATHER WITH YOU.
A KPMG associate is sporting a new look in recent weeks as he gears up for a big winter complaining about the weather.
Unbearable Hurricanes Fan’s Messages Left On “Seen”
SEVEN IN A ROW.
Hurricanes fan Campbell Taylor, who was recently diagnosed with “Our Year syndrome”, is apparently becoming harder and harder to be around.
One Eyed Cantab Has Last Remaining Eye Removed So He Can’t See Crusaders Anymore
SEEN ENOUGH.
Diehard Crusaders fan, Craig Chamberlain, from Christchurch, has taken drastic measures to shield himself from the agony of witnessing his beloved team’s defeats on the rugby field.
Crusaders Fans Call For Super Rugby To Introduce “Fair Play” Award
GOTTA WIN SOMETHING.
With their team languishing in 11th place on the Super Rugby table, Crusaders supporters have come together to demand justice in the form of a “Fair Play” award.
Man Describes Flavours He’s Detecting In Craft Beer Whether Friends Want To Hear It Or Not
OOH THAT’S HOPPY.
35 year old Hayden Carson put his friends through the ringer yesterday afternoon, when he inevitably got onto his favourite topic of discussion – craft beer.
Government Announces New “Ministry Of Voluntary Redundancies”
ANY VOLUNTEERS?
With the tidal wave of changes to the public service in Wellington recently, the Coalition government is setting up a new ministry to keep up with demand.
