MP Annoyed To Find Out She Still Has To Pay For Things
NEWS FLASH.
Golriz Ghahraman, a prominent Green Party MP and human rights lawyer, has found herself entangled in a scandal that has left her both annoyed and baffled.
Ghahraman, who like most MP’s doesn’t have to pay for a single thing while raking in a $170,000 a year salary, found out the hard way today.
The incident allegedly unfolded during the festive season at Scottie’s Boutique, an exclusive haven for the fashion-forward elite in Auckland, where it is alleged Ghahraman failed to pay for an item of clothing there.
Man Genuinely Asks If He Can Use Afterpay To Pay For Craft Beers
LEGIT QUESTION.
Tim Jones doesn’t usually mind getting the first round of drinks for his best mate Sam.
However at a quaint bar on Wellington’s Lambton Quay, Tim nearly had a mild stroke when the bartender pushed the EFTPOS machine towards him, as it proudly displayed the amount to pay as $29.00.
Staring at the two golden looking hazy IPA’s he just ordered, he thought there’d been some sort of mistake, or that the bartender thought he ordered three in total.
Festival Goer Believes Friends Want To Watch Her 100-Part Instagram Story Of The Event
KEEPING THEM UPDATED
Elise Robertson felt like she was doing her friends a duty of care with her constant posts from festivals over the summer.
Elise, a self-proclaimed festival aficionado, recently attended both Rolling Meadows and Juicy Fest in Christchurch, documenting every beat, bass drop, and questionable dance move on her Instagram story.
“I just assumed people who knew I was going to these festivals wanted to hear what the music was like. I just wanted to keep them updated ya know?” The 24 year-old explained, unaware that her friends were growing sick and tired of her constant posts from the summer festivals.”
Impressive and Touching Best Man’s Speech Reeks of ChatGPT
ARTIFICIAL ELOQUENCE
A best man’s speech at a recent wedding has left attendees wondering if it was generated by none other than the ChatGPT. The speech, delivered by Donovan Woodham, a mate of the groom, was hailed as “impressive and touching” by some, but others couldn’t shake the feeling that the words stunk of artificial intelligence.
The wedding, held in a picturesque vineyard in Hawke’s Bay, saw Woodham captivate his audience with tales of the groom’s misadventures and triumphs. While many expected the usual mix of embarrassing anecdotes and heartfelt sentiments, there was an uncanny precision to Woodham’s words that left guests questioning their authenticity.
Woman Haunted by Unwanted Return of Christmas Pine Needles
THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST.
Frustration is growing among Whakataki residents as pine needles have started making their way into unexpected locations, days after half-dead trees were exiled to the streets.
One such resident is Georgie Carr, who is feeling exasperated after pulling pine needles out of her delicates for the second time in 24 hours.
“I’ve been vacuuming up pine needles every day for weeks, I can’t understand how they’re showing up in my washing” Georgie explained, appearing to scratch at the waistband of her trousers.
Boyfriend Considers Hiring Professional Photographer As Girlfriend Still Unhappy With 300th Photo Attempt
CALL THE PAPARAZZI.
Under the glistening sun of Nelson’s Kaiteriteri beach, 27-year-old Mick Kerr found himself caught in the crossfire of a photographic skirmish with his girlfriend, 24-year-old Alyse Rogers.
Arriving that afternoon from Christchurch for their annual holiday on the golden sands of Kaiteri, Kerr once again found himself armed with his girlfriend’s iPhone 14.
“Do you mind if we just get a quick pic now Mick?” Alyse quipped at her boyfriend.
Grandad Just Doesn’t Get The Bloody Weird Kids Names These Days
WORLD’S GONE MAD.
Brian Thomas’ fourth grandchild might be the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Thomas’ daughter Kimberley gave birth to her second son, Xaidyn, last week, joining older brother Jayzin.
Brian’s son Jed also has two children, with three year old daughter Luxury and one year old son Kanan.
Dad Secures Early Billy T Award Nomination With “Haven’t Seen You All Year” Gag
LOCK IT IN.
Bryan Thompson, a dad from Lower Hutt, has stunned the local comedy scene and managed to secure an early nomination for the prestigious Billy T Award with his cutting-edge, “Haven’t seen you all year” joke.
Thompson, known for his dad jokes and irresistible puns, unleashed his comedic prowess at a New Year’s Day barbecue, leaving friends and family in stitches with his timing and delivery that only a true comedy legend could master.
Man Starting On Beers At Midday Under Impression He’ll Make It To Midnight Countdown
BIG SHIFT.
Brad Owens, a 25-year-old from Wellington, is embarking on a New Year’s mission of epic proportions in the Coromandel this year.
Armed with an 18-pack of Heinekens, Brad had become fully convinced that starting on beers at midday was the key to making it to the midnight countdown with both wit and wits intact.
After returning from the supermarket with enough alcohol to last a few days, at 12:02pm Brad cracked open a beer, which piqued the interest of his mates nearby..
Mum Hinting That Adult Children Staying For Xmas Should Maybe Consider Going Home Now
TWO WEEK TURMOIL.
The holiday harmony turned into a symphony of chaos for Tauranga mother Claire Hill today. The 59-year-old found herself entangled in a web of mayhem orchestrated by her adult children — Zoe, 28; Daniel, 27; and Emily, 23.
The trio, usually scattered between Auckland and Wellington for work, descended upon the Hill family home for a festive summer reunion.
“It’s like living in a tornado,” Claire confided, adjusting her spectacles and sighing deeply. “I love my kids, but I’m not used to them all being at home at the same time.”
