Woman Rescued From Her Zombie-Like State With Emergency Espresso Coffee
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Culture REJUVENATED The staff at The Good Home restaurant and bar could be forgiven for thinking it was the beginning of the zombie apocalypse this morning. 25 year old lawyer Libby Edgerton stumbled towards the barista at 8 o’clock, dragging one foot behind her and generally looking like one of the walking […]
Woman’s Unreturned Crush Moves From Beauden Barrett To Ruben Love
NEW KID IN TOWN.
25-year-old Sophie Ballagh has officially announced her switch in affections from All Blacks heartthrob Beauden Barrett to the rising star of the Hurricanes, Ruben Love.
Man’s Post-Easter Sugar Crash Worse Than Hangover
SLUGGISH.
Palmerston North father of two, Bevan Hicks woke up dazed and confused this Easter Monday, with what felt like the result of one two many craft beers the night before.
Bloke Trying To Explain Bitcoin To Mates Still Getting Nowhere
MAGIC INTERNET MONEY
It has been a frustrating couple of weeks for bitcoin enthusiast, Sean Martin.
The 30 year old is now thinking that explaining the significance of his favourite cryptocurrency to his friends may just have to go in the ‘too hard basket’.
Man Has Two Midweek Craft Beers And Goes Home At Reasonable Hour
MONDAY MODERATION.
A Christchurch man made history at The Good Home restaurant and bar today.
Super Rugby Bosses Relieved They Don’t Have To Worry About Dolphins Cancelling Round
SMOOTH SAILING.
Super Rugby bosses have been counting their blessings this week.
With the cancellation of racing at Lyttelton Harbour’s Sail GP event on Saturday, Mark Robinson, CEO of New Zealand Rugby and his executives at NZR, expressed gratitude that rugby is generally unaffected by marine mammals.
CONSPIRACY RABBIT HOLE: One Eyed Cantab Believes NZ Rugby Is Poisoning Crusaders Players
CONNECTING THE DOTS.
Craig Chamberlain, the notoriously one-eyed Cantabrian from the Christchurch suburb of Shirley, has basically lost the plot.
Soon To Be Sacked Public Servant Reflects Fondly On Year’s Worth Of Pointless Work
GOOD TIMES.
Joanne Collingwood, a 29 year old policy analyst at the Ministry of Primary Industries (MPI), is reflecting on a great year.
Winston Goes Hard On The Chumbawamba Song Until He Has To Switch To Eye Of The Tiger
THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT.
Winston Peters is once again not backing down.
Our mainstream news media are currently obsessing over the fact that he used former UK band Chumbawamba’s “Tubthumping,” in one of his campaigns, without asking permission first.
Report Finds Winston Peters “Very Likely” To Keep Telling Us What He Really Thinks
TRANSPARENCY.
An independent investigation into the Deputy Prime Minister has found that the 78-year-old is probably not going to change his way of doing things any time soon.
