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warriors fan looking fearful with winning warriors in the background.

Warriors Fan Living In Constant Fear That Season Will Crumble At Any Moment

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one eyed cantab with statue of Richie Mounga

RICHIE’S 100TH GAME: One Eyed Cantab Erects Statue Of Richie Mo’unga In His Backyard

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man scratching his head about the blues

Local Bloke Still Adjusting To The Idea Of Taking The Blues Seriously

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rugby coach with whistle and players training in background.

Rugby Coach Detects Rain And Instantly Messages His Soft Players To Say Training’s Still On

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warriors fan on couch, looking at air nz site as warriors win in the background.

WARRIORS WIN AGAIN: Local Bloke Looks At Booking Flights To NRL Grand Final

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man on computer, with christian cullen highlights in background

Man With Work To Do Suddenly Drops Everything To Google “Christian Cullen Highlights”

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Scott Robertson in suit with all blacks branding behind him.

NZ Rugby Does Big Office Clean Out And Finds Their Logic And Reason

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Two friends drinking with super 12 legends in the background

Friends Entertain Each Other For Whole Night Taking Turns Naming 1990s/2000s Super Rugby Players

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one eyed cantab in hospital with bandage on eye

One Eyed Cantab Stabs Himself In Good Eye After Loss To Fijian Drua

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Beauden Barrett rolling his eyes

“You V Jordie Will Be Just Like The Backyard Right?”: Beauden Barrett’s Eyeballs Get Stuck During Eye Roll

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.