Bloke Who Received Rare Text Message Disappointed To Discover It Is Again Just From His Telco
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture DEJA VU For a few seconds Ruben Cochrane felt alive. The 28 year-old furniture salesman at Harvey Norman couldn’t wait to see who the text message was from and ducked away to a quiet area of the store to check. “Oh geez, I heard the ding on my phone and my […]
POLAR BLAST: South Islander Still Rocking The Stubbies And Jandals
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture BUSINESS AS USUAL Despite an unexpected blast of snow today, Ben Donovan wasn’t going to change his well established fashion sense. The 24 year-old Otago University student was still in his usual day-to-day attire of stubbies and jandals, despite Dunedin experiencing the most snowfall nationwide. Our reporters caught up with Donovan […]
CALLING A SPADE A SPADE: Local Accounting Firm Re-labels “Mental Health” Days As “CBF” Days
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Local IT IS WHAT IT IS Whakataki accounting firm, Get It Sorted, have taken a step towards providing real clarity and transparency to its staff when it comes to taking leave. Head of HR at the firm, Sarah Golding has said that while the “mental health day” is important for managing stress, […]
Bloke Who Crows About TAB Wins Remains Pretty Damn Quiet On All Those Losses
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture NEVER LOSES Luke Cooper comes across like he’s an absolute genius with sports betting at the TAB. The 31 year-old seemingly spends an excessive amount of his time down at his local TAB, along with surfing odds on his multiple Australian betting accounts, where he always appears to be on a […]
COSTCO TALES OF SURVIVAL: Shopper Survives Opening Day With Just A Black Eye
KASSIE MACKAY | National SAVINGS, BUT AT WHAT COST? One week on from the launch of Costco’s long-yearned-for New Zealand store, those who attended the opening day are reflecting on whether the deals were really worth the drama. In a series of exclusive interviews, the Whakataki Times heard tales of the mishaps and misery that […]
Wellingtonian Lulled Into A False Sense Of Security By Sunny Day Gets Blasted By Strong Nor’ Wester
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture Ralph Stirling looked out the window of his Mount Cook flat with optimism this morning. Seeing clear blue skies, the 24 year-old grocery assistant tossed aside his snapper card and windbreaker jacket, ready for a lively walk to work on what was a rare day of sunshine in the capital. However […]
Woman Cuts To The Chase And Purposely Drops Phone Down The Side Of Her Car Seat
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture GONNA HAPPEN ANYWAY Auckland-based Hannah Hazlett is someone who always thinks she can get away with driving with her phone sitting sneakily on her lap, where she can easily look down and use it inconspicuously. Inevitably the phone ends up sliding off her lap and hitting the floor of her car, […]
SHOCK REVELATION: Fuck Boy On Fuck Boy Island Turns Out To Be A Real Scumbag
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Culture PUBLIC BROADCASTING In news that has come as a complete shock to everyone, it has been confirmed that a contestant on TVNZ’s FBoy Island is actually a total scumbag. Wayde Moore took advantage of a teenager’s drunkenness and was charged with suffocating last year, with the judge describing his behaviour as […]
Man Out For A Run Avoids Other Footpath Users By Putting On A Big Step Off The Right
GORDON LIGHTFOOT | Local SEE YA LATER! 33 year old Whakataki local Mike Matthews has proven to himself and other footpath users that he’s still got it. While out on his Sunday morning run in James Cook Park, something he tries to do at least once a month, he was able to avoid a group […]
Warriors Fan Now Saying He’s “Always Had A Soft Spot For The Eels”
ROSEMARY ABBOTT | Sport It didn’t really matter that Lachy Stone’s beloved Warriors didn’t make this year’s NRL grand final, or playoffs for that matter. Afterall, the 27 year-old is now claiming that he has always had a soft spot for the Parramatta Eels, who will face off against favourites the Penrith Panthers. Our reporters […]
