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man looking at phone in Queensgate shopping centre

Shopping Mall’s Sickeningly Slow Wifi Found To Be Free For A Reason

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man with beer enjoying life

Local Piss Head Who Says “I’ll Be Fine If I Stick To The Beers” Definitely Won’t Be Fine

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woman walking dog in hagley park while thinking about being at summer music festival.

CONTENT CRISIS: Summer Festie Girl Having To Make Do With Dog Walks To Fill The Insta-Void

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hipster man having a coffee in a cuba street cafe, Wellington.

Smug Wellingtonian Insists Their Coffee “Can’t Be Beat”

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pavlova with bag of chelsea sugar and farmer brown's egg carton.

Literally Just Sugar And Egg Whites Combined Causes Ongoing Trans-Tasman Feud

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couple watching barbie movie.

MENTAL FORTITUDE: Millennial Boyfriend Patiently Sits Through Entire Barbie Movie

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blonde woman in hot pool looking at queenstown

Woman’s Instagram Roars Back To Life With Steamy Pic At Queenstown’s Onsen Hot Pools

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man in yellow parker in wellington wet day

Wellingtonian Braves Sideways Wind And Rain But Still Strangely Questions Those Who Want To Move To Auckland

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Woman looking away nervously with coconut block chocolate near her.

Woman Kidding Herself Thinking She Won’t Eat Whole Block Of Chocolate In One Sitting

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depressed man thinking about charizard pokemon card.

Man Haunted By Decision Not To Hang On To Holographic Charizard

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.