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Sam Uffindell on couch looking at new world shopping app.

Sam Uffindell Now Allegedly Buying Family Groceries Online

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group of public servants eating burgers in restaurant

WOAP TIME: Like Clockwork, Wellingtonians Once Again Become Laser-Focused On Eating Burgers

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Man in hi vis teeshirt on Lambton Quay wellington.

Wellington Bureaucrat On Day Off Chucks On Hi-Vis To Feel Like He’s Part Of A Team

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blushed mum in supermarket thinking about shirtless carlos spencer, with toffee pops in the foreground.

Mention Of Carlos Spencer Causes Local Mum To Melt Into Toffee Pop Moment

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young bloke looking proud of his lasagne, with cook book in background

Hopeless Romantic Cooks Meal From Scratch Naturally Relying On NZ Rugby Kitchen

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man looking at phone in Queensgate shopping centre

Shopping Mall’s Sickeningly Slow Wifi Found To Be Free For A Reason

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man with beer enjoying life

Local Piss Head Who Says “I’ll Be Fine If I Stick To The Beers” Definitely Won’t Be Fine

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woman walking dog in hagley park while thinking about being at summer music festival.

CONTENT CRISIS: Summer Festie Girl Having To Make Do With Dog Walks To Fill The Insta-Void

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hipster man having a coffee in a cuba street cafe, Wellington.

Smug Wellingtonian Insists Their Coffee “Can’t Be Beat”

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pavlova with bag of chelsea sugar and farmer brown's egg carton.

Literally Just Sugar And Egg Whites Combined Causes Ongoing Trans-Tasman Feud

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.