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annoyed woman in kitchen with blackened frozen bananas

Local Woman Continues Lie That She Will Make Banana Bread

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Man listening to headphones with phone with Spotify and IRD logos

TIGHTENING THE BELT: Local Man Cancels Spotify Premium And Jams IRD Hold Music Instead

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Team leader writing email

Team Leader’s Popularity Through The Roof After Email Reminder About Putting Dirty Dishes In The Dishwasher

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Man sitting in aeroplane emergency exit row with head in his hands

Hungover Passenger Unprepared For Emergency Exit Row Responsibility

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screaming teacher

Local Teacher’s Biggest Regret Was Becoming A Teacher

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Man struggling to open Whittakers peanut slab

Jaws Of Life Called Upon To Open Whittakers Peanut Slab

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Distressed woman crouching in kitchen

LE SNAK CANCELLED. Local Mum Forced To Spend 30 Seconds Slicing Cheese To Go With Crackers

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Speight's bottle cap with Marc Ellis question

Newcomer To Friend Group Makes A Splash With Breathtaking Speight’s Bottlecap General Knowledge

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Dad standing by window with rain outside

Dad Shuts Down All Complaints About The Rain By Saying “It’ll Be Good For The Tanks”

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Man calmly watching TV

Local Psychopath Refuses To Hit ‘Skip Intro’ On Netflix Series

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire has a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news website, which means the stories are made up for comedic effect.