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man next to toys all over floor

New Dad Accepts Toys All Over The Floor As ‘The New Normal’

Girl with Zoi poster on bedroom wall

“Ha Fuck You Elsa” Says Dad As Daughter Replaces Frozen Poster With Zoi Sadowsky-Synnott

Hungover man

Bleary-Eyed Local Confirms That Midweek Crafties’ll Bloody Getcha

John Leighton in office

New General Manager Upholds Te Tiriti By Starting The Day Off With A Friendly “Morayna”

Tara Harris with her hands on her head trying to find out what NFTs are by googling on her phone

REPORT: ‘What the Fuck Are NFTs?’ Asks Everyone

Chris Hipkins digging a hole

Local Landscaper Keen To Lock In Hole-Digging Expert

Tova O'Brien Job offer

Low Level Regional Newspaper Hoping Very Available Journo Can Add Some Star Power

Steve Morgan forgetting face mask in street.

Remembering Face Mask A Step Too Far On Top Of Wallet, Keys and Phone

Simon Marshall with his head in his hands with blue Powerade nearby.

Man In Office With Blue Powerade Signals Midweek Hangover

Sophie White applying her fake tan poorly and her scenes from her subsequent funeral.

Woman Pronounces Herself Dead After Botched Fake Tan

DISCLAIMER: NZ satire has a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news website, which means the stories are made up for comedic effect.