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Elon Musk with Twitter dog in the foreground.

TRIMMING THE FAT: Elon Musk Gives Twitter’s Underperforming Therapy Dog The Chop

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Man deleting facebook app on phone.

Bloke Who’s Sick Of Being Tagged In Facebook Posts Nukes His Account

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Man rolling his eyes while other man digs in garden.

Only Homeowner In Millennial Friend Group Annoys The Rest With Gardening Chat

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ladies drinking champagne at the races

NZ CUP DAY: Christchurch Race Goers Look Forward To Being Comfortably Steamed At 10:37 AM

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Lesbian woman recoiling at babies crawling

Local Lesbian Sick of Explaining “My Cats Are My Children”

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Pink haired woman at races thinking about champagne breakfast

CUP WEEK: Anti Racing Activist Urged To Consider The Joy Of A Champagne Brekky And Day On The Punt

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Woman cuddling sad-looking dog.

“My Dog is My Closest Friend” Claims Woman Whose Pet Clearly Resents Her

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Man working at his desk while thinking of beers.

Office Employee’s Top Priority For Friday Morning Is Gauging Numbers For Work Drinks

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woman texting about dirty dishes on the bench

Flatmate Fires Through Another Passive Aggressive Message To The Group Chat About Dishes

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woman crying with cocktail and 30th birthday balloons

Millennial Defies Ageing By Behaving Like Spoilt Child on 30th Birthday

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DISCLAIMER: NZ satire and NZ comedy have a long tradition. The Whakataki Times is a satirical news meme website, which means the stories and memes are made up for comedic effect.